☮ enexified

Better?

2012-01-08T09:09:00.002+08:00

“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.”

― William Shakespeare

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

― Mother Teresa

Thought of sharing those two quotes. I thought they were beautiful.

Incidentally, g'day, 2012. 8 days into the year has already passed.

I was just thinking another day, what exactly is your definition of better? Each passing year grants teens/pessimists a chance to dwell on the "suffering" they've been through and to subtly hint to the people who've contributed to that to treat them the way they want to be treated.

"2011 sucked, I hope for a better 2012"
"2012, please be good to me"

Of course, there are people who genuinely wishes for an uplift in every aspect in a new year, but what I can't stand is the constant whining (i repeat: CONSTANT) from the former group I mentioned.

Been through a hard break up? Your parents divorced? Did you move into a new house? Have your friends left you or was there a misunderstanding between you and a good friend? Your crush or best friend(s) not reciprocating the way you expected them to? Poor results the whole year round?

Geez people. Mindset is fucking key.

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."
- Dale Carnegie

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."
- Lou Holtz

(Brilliant Quotes is a fantastic app, btw.)

You can go through shit but if you continuously harbor such poisonous thoughts that only grows and manifests you, you stay that way. You stop moving forward. You stay stagnant.

Get over with yourself, there's about a few good million out there in the world living in poverty, starving to death, waiting for help, seeking for help. Don't add on to the number of humility-less and narcissistic - without they themselves noticing - souls who can only see the universe revolving around them. Emo for a little while then move the fuck on.

You ask for a better year?

I ask you to give yourself a better year.

Because no one can make you upset unless you allow them to.

On this note, I recommend you read this article -

Love you. Mean it.
(i steal from babe walker)

toodles!

Fuckin' mental

2011-12-30T03:28:00.000+08:00

I've been home the whole day.

Believe it or not, this is only my third time staying home since 28 November (the day I flew to Melbourne). All other days I've been out doing all sorts of things.

I love photography and I believe in capturing every moment with a camera and blogging is my way of immortalizing these moments. But as I grew older, I find my free time lessening and the frequency of my updates decreasing.

I've at least 200GB worth (or more) of photos to date since 2006 when this passion was discovered but since 2009, I find myself incapable of updating this blog of mine consistently. So much pictures I've to show, so much words I wish to share, but each time I blog it takes up over four hours of my time and more if I've a lot of picture. I don't mind, not at all, but what I need is time and that is what I'm short of.

I don't know how many people bothers reading this blog anymore too. It's so unattended and each time there's an entry it's either wordy or short :( I feel quite awful about that and I am not going to lie and say that I am not upset about the deteriorating number of readers but what to do?

I've grown to accept it anyway. I won't be able to live the dream I once had a few years back (a childish one too actually). Being a good blogger takes years to achieve and a good load of time spared aside to continuously upgrade it. My writing is not exceptionally well neither is it distinguished.

However, that being said, it does not mean I'll stop blogging. I'm only making it clear that as much as I'd like to get things up fast, the updates will come by slow.

Things never go according to how it was planned.

I thought this holiday I'd have a good few days to properly update my blog with all owed entries and I even thought I'd have a good week off to properly study and wrap up my whole J1 syllables, what a joke. I'm three days away from 2012. I've barely done any of it.

I'm probably one of the worst photographers as well because my uploading of pictures (onto Facebook) takes weeks. I'm usually several days late or several weeks late because I'm far too busy to sit down, sift through the photos, edit accordingly and wait for the uploads to be completed.

*Troll behind the computer screen stares at this post scathingly. What makes you any busier than other 17 year old?*

I can't exactly tell you what makes me so busy because it's always different and it's not a routine but it mostly centers around over-commitment to several things. I've tried to breakaway from it all on several accounts but it is not easy. As long as I live, as long as I feel, as long as I think, they stay.

Unless they leave me, by choice.

**

I created this entry earlier today because I wanted to talk about how my day had been and how much I enjoyed the solitude.

I spent the day hopping from one music video to another, leaving it in the background as I read through articles, googled and wiki'd some random things and questions, watched my favourite bands performing live and sang along, caught up on my hollywood gossip news, read some of my favourite blogs, sang along to instrumentals, watched chick vs dick, browsed around youtube and went from one related video to another and chatted around a while.

I haven't even tumblr'd, I haven't even blogged, I haven't even revisited sites I used to frequent, I haven't caught up on Misfits S3, I haven't organized my folders, I haven't done so many other things that I would do when I'm online. I've been on the computer for 17 hours. It's still not enough.

That's not to mention the things I'd rather do at home (especially after I move house. I can't imagine how much more I'd love to stay in).

I love going to new places, I love mixing around, I love observing people, I love drinking, I love walking, I love having to go through the tenuous process of choosing what to wear and what to match, I love the many things I can see because I'm privileged to be living in a first world nation, I love doing so much things out

but plenty of times i wished i was anywhere else but out.
plenty of times it's not a want but an obligation.
plenty of times it's not excitement but fear.

yet what can I do, what can I do other than to trudge on and live?

Live learn Live learn that's all I can do for now.

Sadly...learning (the hard and unnecessary way) is a compulsory process for me till my A's and uni days end. Singapore's education system, sigh, what a fucking rat race.

Digressing already.

What a fucking coherent post.

I end here.

I am as what you had read - fuckin' mental.

Plenty of loves,
toodles!

I want...

2011-12-25T02:15:00.005+08:00

A few things came to my mind earlier on. Where better place to jot down than here in my blog? Kills a few birds with one stone :D

I'm half desiring half fantasizing about my to-come new room/house.

I need my CPU fixed by the time I move into my new house next year! That way I can properly play all my games like L4D2!

I also need a new external hard disk. 1 tera preferably. My 300 gig ehd is running out :( Which colour shall I pick...? Hmmmmm...

I want a wide angle lense, I'd like a proper DSLR, I want a nice file to slot in all my stickers, I want all the stationaries in the world, I want a beats headphone *-*

I want some canvas paintings to put in my new room. I'd like a new CD shelf, that ikea sofa bed, an oven, a new wardrobe, a nice kitchen. I want to fast-forward time so I can hang up pictures in my room.

I'd also want to paint my room and decide on a few colours.

I want that suckable nike bottle, I want my bag printed, I want to use my rotary phone, I want a hi-fi set, I want to use my panda bed sheet in my new house. I want an area where I can display all my panda babies.

I want to get my sports shoe, I want a new school shoe, I need some track suits, I need a life.

I want to have a good few days to properly read all the new books I've gotten and to fully soak myself in it.

I want some time off to catch up on a few shows (glee, misfits, skins, masterchef) and a few more which i tried to abstain from (himym, tbbt, pll)... I need some time to watch some good movies people has recommended to me throughout the year (adjustment bureau, pursuit of happiness, 7 pounds, pianist, notebook, king's speech) and many more.

I want some verbal love.

I'd like some beauty too, and some skinniness.

A good getaway too...if it's possible.

But then again, they're all just wants and not needs.

What we need is to be happy!

Like the spider above!

I'm lying through my teeth.

~_~ sigh I'm awfully glum this Christmas.

I need my enthusiasm back.

Day 5
: 20 Plans/Goals/Dreams You have

1. Try to inspire as much minds as possible to accept the changing world to let them start seeking for common humanity
2. Help to make a change some place, somewhere
3. Hope that more people will move towards and be an advocate for equality (for lgbts, women, the black people, etc)
4. Global warming be prolonged
5. Respective parties involved in the Arab Spring can come to the negotiating table and reach a decision
6. Pakistan to let bygones be bygones and move on
7. No more impending nuclear threat
8. Extreme islamist and terrorists to calm their tits and realize that violence and genocides are not solutions.
9. Hope that the illuminatis are not real
10. Hope that the world will not end by 2012
11. Hope one day we will have a powerful, strong and stable enough rocket/space craft to be sent further into space so more discoveries can be made
12. Hope Singapore & Iceland will not drown
13. Hope to see (and have the money as well)Coldplay/Arctic Monkeys/Last Shadow Puppets/Kid Cudi/Keane/Killers/Mew/Radiohead/Band of Horses/Drake/Adele/Lady Gaga/The Pretty Reckless/Inch Chua/Josie/Peter Lee Johnson/Black Eyed Peas (again!) live.
14. Part-time radio deejay?/Editor in a mag or an online mag?/Prosecutor?
15. Change my late-coming habit
16. Save up enough money to be able to travel around the world to all the continents
17. Try to save up to go Iceland after A's.
18. Give talks to Secondary School students on tertiary education, etc. to guide them to take the right path/study enough before the O's
19. Complete a long distance marathon (42km next may? hmm hmm?)
20. Continuously learn and improve myself everyday (and that should never, ever stop)

Number 5 Aquarians (Numerology + Astrology) like me are such idealists/dreamers...

Glum tere on Christmas Day's Eve and the ungodly hours of the Christmas morning (it's 3:45AM now)

:( Incoherent thoughts + post as a result. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Did you make any sense out of this entry at all?!

Off to restock my Tiny Towers then I'll be off to bed. Hope for a good day later on.

Plenty of love!
toodles!

Astrology, Religion, Cynicism, Skepticism.

2011-12-15T14:04:00.005+08:00

I just had an awesomely bizarre discussion with two people - Mr Lee & Visakan.

It proved to be highly beneficial for me because it has given me a much bigger reason to stamp out all the cynicism that's left within me since it isn't healthy.

Though I still stand strong on my view, apart from the engaging alternate view points I received, I enjoyed learning new ways to phrase things. Some people are able to put certain views into words in ways you, at the present moment, cannot think of. That's also the reason why I love reading. Words are absolutely magical and language itself - English in particular, is a beauty and in some sense a salvation to mankind.

Digressing already, damn.
(precisely why I rarely type lengthy posts regarding complex ideas like these. I stray off too quickly and my opinion of it constantly changes.)

WHILE IT'S STILL FRESH.

The argument at hand is that astrology has not been proven and that many of our apparent connections with its predictions is 'self-induced'. I say that that is about the same as religion.

On one hand, one deals with "claim about afterlife" and gives "ethical injunction" (I quote from Mr Lee) while the other merely toys with the idea of fate and destiny and how it is planned by the stars, but in essence, they are the same.

"Astrology, like religion, is probably something that rational reasoning and scientific inquiry will never be able to prove." - Elizabeth Spring.

While the Forer effect can be used to explain why astrological predictions so correctly fit our lives, I say in the same way it can be used for religion - the relatability of the bible with our lives, the moral teachings of a religion (any, with no specifics) to our lives and how much it can benefit us in the after-life and the private and personal connection with God - is it not sometimes that way because we carved it to be that way?

Both Astrology and Religion holds no sufficient evidence in proving themselves, yet they both have considerable amount of followers each. Why so when they have little proof to justify how real it is?

There comes the part about perceptions and subjectivity.

Life, as it seems to me now, is nothing but perceptions towards a lot of things. "Believability is largely a matter of confirmation bias, which we are all afflicted with. The more enchanting the narrative, the more believable we want it to be, and the more believable it is."

We all have our personal subjective framework and as long as whatever argument is valid within this framework, it will be. So what exactly is validity and truth when our perception overrides this all? Is truth just a skeleton, a backbone to whatever that we believe in because the different angles of perspectives warps the very meaning it is supposed to hold? It would continuously go on, because there are hundreds and millions and billions and trillions of perceptions that exists and to each his/her own.

Many controversies, conspiracies and theories exists with fogginess clouding up at its edges. There are some figures, some statistics, some anecdotal proofs, but how much is enough to affirm it for real? Skeptics will never completely accept such an argument, there's always different ways to see it, which is why I feel there isn't (and there shouldn't be) an extreme yes or no to your affirmation of certain ideas.

As such, what is life (and its purpose) then, if all it holds for is merely individual perceptions? There kicks in my cynicism about life; something that has been bugging me terribly for the past few weeks.

I quote this from Visakan (I've been quoting here and there from Mr Lee and him above, in case you didn't know, those "" areas) - "The value of a framework lies not just in its internal consistency (although that's usually a great sign), but it's consistency with other effective frameworks and ideologies as well. (That's because we have to work with other people. A self-delusional framework is fine if you live and die alone.)

It's not about fighting to see who's more "right" or who's more believable - it's about you helping me to see things your way, and vice versa, and us finding common ground, common humanity."

You'd ask, "[h]ow do we move forward without sacrificing diversity, how do we function as one while acknowledging and embracing that we're different?

That's the challenge - to hold each other accountable, to point out blind spots to one another, to grow, to learn."

That's the (supposed, to me anyway) beauty of life.

You live, you grow, and you learn, most importantly, from things around you, from people around you.

What you want to do with it lies entirely on a different spectrum of course: you can think about injustice, you can think about inequality but wanting to do something about it makes all the difference.

"What we have here is something that any group of human beings can have and learn to develop and that if we embody it well enough, we will infect others, and it's something worth fighting for, living for."

My only purpose left currently, anyway, to live, is succinctly summarised (this thinking is thought way before this discussion) - that my very existence is enough to play a part in helping to change the world, to change mindsets, to make. a. change.

In other words, stamp out cynicism.

There's nothing else I can do further if I harbor such a thinking and let my motivation get sapped. I will literally be rendered helpless (and empty) because there's nothing else in me to want to give and help - what for, right?

It's too easy, far too easy to think that life is meaningless and that all we're doing right now with our fragile, impressionable and daft little minds is pointless.

Of course, like what Mr Lee would say, each argument/discussion/debate wholly solidifies our existing points (that is, unless you've decided to switch sides because you're fully convinced) but on the side note, it certainly gives one a lot more to think about and it, without meaning to, allows that one idea stretch and expand vastly to many others that it is (and can be) linked to.

At the end of the day, everything connects, like what Steve Jobs says.

Everything happens for a reason and there will always be a blessing in disguise - if only you want to spot the silver lining.

Whether religions exists, I am still confused. Whether we should believe in astrology, my answer's 50/50. Whether cynicism and skepticism (which are two entirely different thing) is good, I say a pinch of both adds a good deal to ground your arguments.

Well?

What's your perception of this post then? ;)

Day 4 - a date you would love to go on.

2011-12-05T20:12:00.007+08:00

Day 4
: a date you would love to go on.

Play and listen to this as you read the post! Absolutely beautiful song with remarkable lyrics.

I’ve waited a hundred years.
But I’d wait a million more for you.
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do.

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch,
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush,
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough,
I would have known what I was living for all along.
What I’ve been living for.

Your love is my turning page,
Where only the sweetest words remain.
Every kiss is a cursive line,
Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I’ve been for who you are,
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
Well, I would have known what I’ve been living for all along.
What I’ve been living for.

Though we’re tethered to the story we must tell,
When I saw you, well, I knew we’d tell it well.
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas.
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.

If it's even possible...

Numerology Shizz

2011-12-05T18:42:00.001+08:00

If you were born on the:

1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month you are number 1.
2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then you are number 2.
3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then you are number 3.
4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then you are Number 4.
5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then you are number 5.
6th, 15th, 24th of any month then you are number 6.
7th, 16th, 25th of any month then you are number 7.
8th, 17th, 26th of any month then you are number 8.
9th, 18th, 27th of any month then you are number 9.

Number 1
You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous
on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You
always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most
likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are
likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most
likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a
spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you
will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of
the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in
your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you &
your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a
pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4, 6, 8 while a good match
would be with 3, 5 and 7.

Number 2
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You
day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for
every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change
according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of
musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet
as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a
sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You
are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you
settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you
are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will
sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad
vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no
other people can put up with you!

Number 3
You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots
of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope
with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you
would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a
point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are
not a cool person. It’s not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But
once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You
always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and
problems but they won’t be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love
money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look
after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being
generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom,
creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!!
Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5.

Number 4
You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in
life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause
nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other
people’s problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you
are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too
much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and
get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You
love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family
and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live
with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be
careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart (ahaks!). And
beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a
hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good
match 5, 6, and 7.

Number 5
You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your
enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will
be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will
always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help
your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down
you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships – even if you are
married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with
anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You
learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good
match 6, 8.

Number 6
Ooopppss… You were born to enjoy! You don’t care about others. I mean you
always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either
education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people
who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your
mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But
if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships
until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged
early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person
of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and
after all you can heal this world’s wounds to make peace for everyone because
you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step
further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5.

Number 7
You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art,
singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value
your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain
age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s faces
lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have
everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to
get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you
might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone’s joy. Your
best match is 2. Good matches are 1, 4.

Number 8
You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand
you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the
one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way
through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who
will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very
reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and
always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often
late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems
such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly-
disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take
you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your
Best match 1, 4 and 8. Good match 5.

Number 9
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong,
physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will
think it’s still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there!
Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will
have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very
naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been
involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when
you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho
type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or
banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but
you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are
humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve
targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model
for everyone. Your best match 3, 5, 6, and 9. Good match 2.

Accurate, no?

How soon was soon?

2011-11-16T02:50:00.006+08:00

If I were to embrace JC education and accept it in its entirety, 'soon' would be a lot later.

I set up a challenge and I'm 26 days (as of this post) away...26/30...naise.

Day 03
: Your nicknames and why you have them.

First few names that came into my mind -
Tere, Tree, Ter, Sapao/Teresapao, Ah Zhou, Terebitch/TereB, Mother Teresa, enex

My FAVOURITE is Tere and I would definitely want all my close friends or people I consider more than just an acquaintance to call me by that name because it exudes a sort of affection and it always warms my heart (when I do realize that they are calling me that). If they start calling me Teresa I'd feel detached and upset :(

The first three and the fifth, anyway, is pretty self-explanatory based on the 'nature' of my name...

Sapao means muscular in Malay, apparently, and to call me fat in a more subtle way, my friends - Nicholas Lau Cheng Yi in particular, rechristened me as Sapao. Vi loves to call me Teresapao :P

I'm a [nice] bitch who came from Calcutta and since P3 after I found/combined and made the user name "enex" for myself, I'm also named enex for easy reference.

DONE. Yay.

--

On the side note, I've been really busy with meet-ups with friends, but I still had time to go support the local artists at the local laneway, also known as the MeRadio concert! This is aside from the Written Report work and Oral Presentation to prepare for (Project Work).

Sher was also there with us:)

I had a really good time. I don't know what I'll do without music!

There's so much talents in Singapore...it's a pity the support is still so limited. Long way to go, but getting there! :)

--

Belle, Nia, Mita & me.

I started off the year hearing horrific remarks about a subject called 'Project Work' which has been said to have sucked several souls.

"Oh ma gee PW has got to be THE worst thing ever in JC."

I got frightened.

But honestly? It wasn't that bad after all.

Luck played a part I guess, because we did a topic which we could feel attached to - on children with autism. Though the strategies were highly technical which was one portion that made the process difficult, it was manageable.

On top of that, I had good members with me. Amanda was originally with us and she was great fun too, but due to her health condition and eye problem, she was unable to carry on with us after the mid-years so we lost her. Nonetheless we were still able to strive on and complete what we were tasked to do, pretty well if you ask me!

It's over already as of now, and my only advice to starting J1s is this: mindset is key. Tell yourself it is difficult, it is stupid, it is useless and it is a waste of time, and it will be. Make every moment worth while and tell yourself instead what you can learn from all these, how you can apply it in future and how it may - if it is truly implemented - benefit your target groups. It makes everything worthwhile. It did for me.

--

I blogged this at an ungodly hour (2:50) and it was supposed to be updated on 16 November, but I dozed off and I couldn't complete the post. Today (5 December) I'm reediting the post to update it. I'll leave it as its original date. Hehe, this would mean I had at least blogged once in November. I'm such a fantastic blogger.

K I'm sorry :(
I haven't even blogged about my Bangkok trip (TO TRY TO ENTICE YOU TO GET YO FREAKIN' ASS THERE AND SHOP) and I've JUST, yes just - a few hours ago - returned from MELBOURNE, a Literature trip organized by Ms Yap!

I wonder how long I'll take to update that. Ha ha.

TOODLYDOO,
I lurb chu.
(omfg seriously, if you can't say it whole, you ain't sayin' it real honey. i get irritated when i see this being said)

Day 2 - the meaning behind your name

2011-09-24T13:20:00.004+08:00

A more direct way of doing this:

My mom named me after Mother Teresa, hoping that I would harbor characteristics that she has (and also because my sister is Tricia, and her name is Tracy, so it's only right that I have a name that starts with T) but I don't really remember why my chinese name is Ming Hui. I'm just really glad I don't only have a chinese name. (1. because that's just sad! 2. i don't really like it)

A less direct way of doing this:

8)
(oh and it's not in any particular order)

And credits to Rach for writing me that note while Ms Yap was talking about birds, birds and birds during our tutorial.

I've been pretty depressed and unmotivated the last two weeks because I felt that there was not enough time for me to do all that I want to and that I would retain anyway so what is the point of doing anything!

Of course that was highly pessimistic and I am not exactly being practical nor level-headed. A few events happened here and there and I was like a balloon continuously pumped with air (and air being a metonym for those unnecessary, painful events and emotions). I try to forget how heavily filled I was with all these thoughts and feelings but while it worked temporarily, it still came back.

In any case I did some soul-searching yesterday and I did what I thought was right which could steer me towards a better direction. I've taken some steps earlier, just after June, and though they were minimal compared to the distance more ahead on top with the one I took yesterday, coupled altogether it's better than nothing. This is part of my self-acceptance, but it's a whole load of junk and nobody really likes to bore themselves reading about the sad life of another ☺

Coming Monday is the start of my end of year exams, which is, more commonly known for J1 kids as our promotional exams. I still don't know if I can do it, I still don't know if I will retain, but I feel much more organized and I have higher determination now (especially after having a 9pm-9am sleep last night which made up for the loss sleep I got from the poor sleeping pattern that I adopted again).

Really, tere, you know what to do. You understand. You have all the relevant and necessary materials (fully now, after the final two productive literature lessons where everything was packaged up nicely, literally and metaphorically) and it is all now just up to your bloody head.

"It isn't what you have, or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It's what you think about."

- Dale Carnegie

Good luck to all other fellow #jckids (*nudges bill, karthik, giselle, jon, rahul, sheryl, whole of A05) who're about to take their promos and to the people who're done: i hope you will promote.

Congrats to my poly mates (*nudges sher vi bern fart vai sam etc) who've completed their first semester and who has good gpa results! and also g'luck to belz, nic, chian and joev hehe.

I'm off to finish 3/4 of econs and both of my history. A little too idealistic in my opinion, but I hope i'll be somewhere there anyway.

promos > chinese intensive > chinese a levels > pw final wr/i&r/op/full a lvl assessment > 2 weeks of normal lessons > vi's bday > lit melbourne trip > nic's bday > 2 - 3 chalets > hopefully bangkok > year ends > my birthday > whole load of clubs mambo nights and driving lessons > a level > on towards uni.

It'll all end soon won't it? Just like the Harry Potter series. Can't wait to get out.

Sigh life flies by too fucking fast but -

everything happens for a reason, and there will always be a blessing in disguise.

My system of living.

Hope i'll be back with day 3, alive, soon hehe,

toodles!

30 day challenge

2011-09-03T05:40:00.008+08:00

So here I was, slightly nausea after playing L4D2 with an insanely frustrating random team (we had to repeat 8 times the first round) then I thought about this challenge.

It has been going around ages now...and I thought it'd be a good way to connect to the blogosphere on one of those many days i can't/refuse to/too lazy to/no mood to/'ve no time to 'properly' blog.

I had to google and sift through all the junk!

Day 1 - 5 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 2- The meaning behind your name.
Day 3 - Your nicknames & why you have them.
Day 4 - A date you would love to go on.
Day 5 - 20 Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 6 - Share a picture from your day
Day 7 - Something you’re looking forward to this year.
Day 8 - Nicknames you have & how or why you have them
Day 9 - Something you hope to change about yourself and why.
Day 10 - A hobby you have.
Day 11 - A photo that makes you smile
Day 12 - Someone who has made your life worth living.
Day 13 - Short term goals for this month and why
Day 14 - What is something you crave.
Day 15 - Something you regret not having done last year.
Day 16 - The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 17 - 3 things you are proud of about your personality.
Day 18 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 19-Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 20 - Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.
Day 21 - Favorite super hero and why
Day 22 – Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 23 - If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
Day 24 - Something you always think “what if…” about
Day 25 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 26 – What are your biggest pet peeves?
Day 27 - Something you’re currently worrying about.
Day 28 - The best things to happen to you this week.
Day 29 - 10 ways to win your heart.
Day 30 – In the past month, what have you learned.

You gotta blog one topic a day (though of course I highly doubt my ability to do so daily!) and try to complete this challenge!

HHHHHHHonestly I wonder how far I can go. Do you believe in me? :B

Side note-
Last night (since it's 5 hours past 12 even though i prefer not to consider it as a new day because i've not slept) is - as I've promised - the last time I go out until Promos ends, which will be 24 days later from now. THE PROSPECT OF ME RETAINING IS REALLY HIGH, NO SHIT.

I spent the first few hours out at crowded Comex...-0-...to get the stuff Kor needs and to visit Joev, Des & QL, then I had a good ol' bite.

I had enough beef to keep me off it for...a week, or more. It was a little overbearing but I still stand by saying that people miss out a lot if they don't eat beef! (1. sorry to pious people who absolutely detests beef and stays away from it 2. sorry to the outraged animal lovers/vegetarians)

I love eating criss-cut fries. *new favourite

It was SAM next (no not samuel chua yi long nor samuel tan qin xiang hehe the only two sams i know) at the Night Fest (which will end soon, so go now while the admissions are free till 2AM!)

There were some artworks that were a real eye-opener, and some conventional, classic pieces. My favourite was the reactive wall!

That one had loads of crowd gathering. It reacts to noise!

The exhibition provided two loud hailers and a mic, so you speak/scream/sing through the hailer onto the mic and watch those thingamajigs 'react' to it! I was pretty daring with the things I spoke, people laughed and one girl said "well done" ^-^ *goes to a corner to feel happy about it*

But I do appreciate them art, every stroke the artists makes on every detail of their piece.

LOL :X if you can see it.

There's this other interactive one outside.

You speak into the mic and it will warp and change your voice into some alienic, unintelligible one, and the hologram on the walls 'reacts' to it!

I had a really good time :)

Halfway out I was already feeling guilty because I wasn't back home, sittin' on my ass, piling books after books while speed reading notes to save my horrid grades, but then I thought it was useless to worry that way.

It's 8 now, and it's probably time for me to take a nap before I head back home later.

Stay safe, keep calm!

Oh and one last thing-

Day 01
: 5 interesting facts about yourself

1. stepping on crunchy leaves gives me a great sense of satisfaction
2. i was the star during sign-language performances along with other members in tzu chi when i was younger :p
3. i've decided the song i'll lose my virginity to is mew - comforting sounds and a song i'll definitely play at my wedding/funeral will be arctic monkeys - a certain romance (no joke)
4. i love cooking eggs and i always try to learn new ways to cook them.
5. i fell in love with the name enex when i was 9 at a birthday party in a bowling alley because of another attendee who had a name similar to that. it stuck ever since. four is my favourite number and ified is just very me.

lindsay's tattoo on her ribcage:
Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife/I feel like I’m in the prime of my life
toodlydoo:)

Late July - August

2011-08-28T18:45:00.034+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE, finally doing up a proper blog post!
The combination of a chilly weather, a Sunday and a holiday on the coming Monday gave me a good urge to! This is gonna be a bloody long one, check the time I started at the side of this and then look at this: it's 11:47PM now. Talk about dedication! Hahahhaa.

I've loads more pictures and events from late July and above but while all these are still fresh on my mind and especially since I've just edited all these to upload onto Facebook... :)

A picture of the sign at Dempsey Hill to start things off! Jie had a singing competition nearby and Daddy wanted to spend some father-daughter time with me. We decided to have our favourite meat for dinner hehe -

Boy, was the meat good! Prime Society has got to have THE best tenderloin steak ever! Better than Morton's, better than any other restaurant Daddy has ever brought me to.

The tender meat sends a lovely, tasty juice running down your throat with each chew and with medium rare, it is soft and exquisitely good! *drools*

Daddy enjoyed his sirloin steak hur hur, and WE enjoyed our wine! I've drank two bottles of Pinots before, each different of course, and I've always liked it, and the one we tasted at the PS has got to be the best one! A sweet, velvety taste that's absolutely lip-smacking. We drank finish the whole bottle!

While we ate we spoke too, of course, and Daddy imparted some wise words and advice. That night was the reason I decided to start changing my sleeping habits (and sleep early - and this is says a lot, seeing that my bed time has always been past two for for the past 2 - 3 years)

After a good meal, we walked over to the pub Jie was at to support her. Chua En Lai was one of the judge for that night! I was surprised hahahah, and I felt proud of Jie as well, because when she was done with her three songs, all three judges were impressed and he praised her.

Can you imagine? Jacques Ooi praising my sister? Ha :P

A few days later came her Birthday.

Now, previously we've already celebrated with her at this hotel that has a buffet spread which serves superb quality seafood (I enjoyed the salmon sashimi thoroughly!) but it was three days earlier.

On her Birthday, she did not expect neither me nor Kor to celebrate with her again since we've already done so. Furthermore I told her I was out with my friend swimming hehe and she was envying me.

Originally both Kor and I were supposed to already be there to surprise her, but an UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCE STRUCK so I was about 15 minutes late. No matter, plan B! She received a pleasant surprise seeing Kor already there, and she didn't suspect any other thing. I came in a few minutes later with a cake in my hand and a hastily done card to give her a second surprise.

Yay stupid dodo noticed nothing, so plan B worked!

heehee.

I suggested the place, Gyu-Kaku! Daddy brought me there twice and I loved it there, though it can be really pricey!

Daren couldn't wait to have his hands on the food. The meat were all well marinated and as good as always!

My favourite salad, the Horenso! Best served at Gyu-Kaku, they have this special salad sauce that makes it taste extremely good!

After the dinner and after a round of desert, we stayed on and played Ludo on my samsung tab HAHA. It's a hell fun game to play with a group of four.

I can't remember the positions now...but I think Kor got first and I got last :(

The night couldn't end that early, so we drove over to Prinsep street and to our favourite PlayNation. We did not have enough time the last round when we were here to fully enjoy the Scotland Yard, so we played that first.

Jie was first, because she's the birthday girl, but she lost half way HAHA. and I played next because I've not tried it before.

Guess what?

I FUCKIN' WON ;)

And that's was a first between us four! HA.

Played this game next, it's really damn fun!

Two person flips over the circular cards on each side, and open to all on the table, see who is the fastest to hit the big circle at the centre to answer. E.G: left - car or motorcycle, right - E, you have you name a car or motorcycle that starts with E. They have loads of categories, it's really enjoyable!

Nearing an hour of playing that game, we switched to this other one which we have not tried before. It's called Guesstures.

If you've watched Thirteen by Catherine Hardwicke you'd probably find this familiar! Hehehe.

It's very fun too. You pick four cards to put into that thingamajig and then you close it. The timer will begin. 30 seconds per card, if you don't pull it out in time, it will go down so you'll have to move on to the next! This is a team game, so you'll obviously be trying hard to guess what your friend is trying to show you. No talking!

Hahahahha, madness.

Our last game:

Incredibly tough round of Guess Who. -_- it was a lot more fun when I was playing with homies during Sher's bday!

Fast forwarding to Kor's Birthday while we're on the same note on Birthdays.

Planned a mini dinner surprise for him. I call it mini because he wasn't very surprised since he "expected something to be unexpected but not sure what to expect" tsk.

Big thanks to the guys who made it though:)

THAT was two days earlier since the stupid guy decided to go overseas on his birthday, but luckily he was flying at 6AM, so he's still home at 12AM! Jie and me went over and we gave him a surprise. Now this was a surprise ;)

Heheh.

Love my family:)

On the eve of National Day is red-day in PJC (and in any other normal school, actually)

Well, red or white, that is 8-)

Got our lyrics sheet in the morning and sang our first song. Sul's...patriotic.

Headed back to class to do a NDP collage so we worked in groups of three, settling different portions of the board.

While the board was halfway done:)

Everyone was working hard, weren't they, Clarabelle?

mmmmmmmmmmmmm.... ok right.....

Hahahahhaa.

With bits and pieces all coming together,

(first one drawn by Eejoo, touched up by Lizzie, and coloured by the girls, and the second one drawn and coloured by Belle)

It was time to paste them altogether!

Verdict?

Yeah we good like that. ;)

On the actual National Day, celebrated with no better group of people: homies and sis! hehe. Bern, chian, fart & vshu couldn't make it though. The initial plan was to catch the fireworks but thought it was unpractical because the fireworks was only a few minutes and we'd be squashed by the crowd, so got them over to ma crib!

Heheh, #singaporeanpride.

I got casted to be Bianca, the 'sweet, demure, virtuous' sister of Katherina from the Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare. It was for our Literature Symposium. I've been acting as Katherina since the start during in-class dramatization but I got 'demoted' into being Bianca because I was not fierce enough hahahaha. It's an honour still though!

Was working and practicing my lines.

On the day itself -

With my Father and my Sister, Kate.

Yes sister Kate is actually a dude hahahahaha, and he was wearing Momo's wig! Mel & Adrienne did a really good job clipping the hair up, and Nics did a good job old-ifying Alif hahahahhaha. Mairah was in charge of me and she did a good job transforming me to Bianca ^^ I look pretty scary here because of the eye shadow which was hastily done earlier due to lack of time, but Ms Yap helped to touch up and lighten the colours a little more. She helped Aqeel too.

There's Dilip, who acts as Kate's tamer, but the photos of him is in Samuel's cam and he hasn't uploaded them yet :(

We were the first act so we left the LT to wait outside for our cue.

The whole play is pretty simple, but of course the memorizing of the lines is another story. I am abused by Kate at the start, who binds me and questions me then kicks me off the chair. My father then comes tottering in, picking me up before scolding Kate. Kate chases me off stage then prepares to come back down when her tamer Petruchio finishes his business exchange with Baptista. Then comes the little show between the two hot-headed character who flirts with each other as well.

Hahahha it was hilarious, and Aqeel and Dilip did a fantastic job adding the humour in and with improvising their lines because they forgot a lot of it. It was fun working with them three.

Can you believe it, I actually acted! Hahhahaha. Reminds me of Sec 2 drama days, I almost had to act for Grease as the main girl (which also means I have to sing - a lot). Thank god the sec 1s were a lot better hehe.

During the 15 mins break!

With my sister.

After the break was a round of poetry slamming by four students. My initial sister Clairie, Sheryl, Daniyal and Arshad! They had big balls and they all spoke phenomenally well ;)

Following on was a whole load of presentations. Zoea was in one of them and she did her part excellently. Best presentation speaker, me and Alif reckons ;)

Had a good time watching Pinter's Birthday Party's reenactment, and the final play was a scene from Kuo Pao Kun. and the most scary one as well. it scared poor Alif to bits hehe.

Was thinking that Aqeel should run in half way and scream and throw out all his bra stuffing hahahahhahaa.

Everything was over pretty soon, so it was time for more photo taking!

Everyone played with his boobies.

(there's Dilip at the back!)

Heh heh.

Taking off their prop and make up,

Fasted that day because I had planned to buke with Dan, Alif and Mai. We went over to Al-Azhar with Es as well. Mmmmmm couldn't wait to get my hands on the food. The two occassions i've fasted i've always felt more hungry than thirsty hahah. .

Omnomnomnomnomnonmnmonononm.

Had a great time!

--

Have been supporting a local talent Inch Chua for quite a while now, and I've heard of ShiGGa Shay before. I only heard one or two of his songs and I didn't really dig it that much last year. I subscribed to him anyway to give him my support.

He released his first single a few weeks ago called Monster. The song featured three other local artistes, and it was bloody dope!

Fell in love with the song and checked out all his other videos.

I fell in love with him altogether after spending a few hours listening to all his originals and covers. He is crazily talented and he has a thing for rapping! He has that melodious (and low) voice that just goes well with his songs. Honestly, he is up in the charts of my favourite rappers list. Along with Kid Cudi, Eminem, Drake and Kanye West.

Check these out, these are my favs.

In any case, being his fan already, I decided to head down to support him during the Y Fest.

Squealed like a bitch when he came on stage! After the past few days of 'stalking' him online, I couldn't believe that I was actually seeing him live! I blushed like mad and I couldn't stop squirming in my seat. Sher had heard about him before too so she knows his talent, it's all good she understands my excitement heeheh.

God he was damn good live.

His show ended really quickly though :( we were all upset when he left suddenly, we had all wanted to hear more! I haven't heard him perform on my grind and monster, and I was hoping he'd perform I'm Asian or All About You. We all shouted encore, and he came back with Monster yay hehe, but that was his last song.

NONETHELESS................

Yes we got a picture with him.

:DDDDDDDDD I went all jelly when I saw him! I spluttered out my words and I was blushing like mad, my heart was thumping like crazy! I couldn't believe he was just there! Happy happy happy.

Going to be there for his future shows from now on to show my support hehe.

Had a lovely LJS meal after to celebrate my 'victory' :P

Another week later, I got to see this:

YES IT'S PARAFUCKINGMORE. Thank god Daniyal 'goaded' me into buying the tix.

Couldn't fucking wait!

Our seats were quite behind, but lemme tell you it's all worth it still for such a 'cheap' price! We could still see things quite clearly and we could all - me and dan especially - still jump, scream and sing even with such a distance! It was hell fun!

The swellers were up first. Their first few songs were good then it started to become really draggy and I was actually waiting for them to leave.

AN HOUR LATER THOUGH.........

See that red hair?

THEY'RE OUT!!!!!!

They started with Ignorance, we went mad when Decode came on and they ended with Misery Business & a mini shower of sparks. It's so beautiful and I felt so glad that I was able to witness Paramore live. It was a crazily fun experience.

This has came on board in my list for one of the best live concerts ever! My favourite was still the f1 rocks in 2009 though heheh, paramore, laneway and maroon 5 comes scrambling after one another (in no order!)

Hayley was AMAZING live and the energy on the stage was mad and it spread to the crowd who caught it on fast! Even behind, Dan and me were dancing, jumping, fist pumping and screaming like crazy. I shook my hair like i just didn't care! Hahahahah THUMBS FUCKIN UP FOR PARAMORE!

Thank god they came back this year, cos i missed them last year.

heheh.

--

I'm almost about done with my blog post soon, but i just wanna share four last pictures heh

- having a heavenly tea for breakfast in the morning in school to perk me up (and this slowly becomibg a daily tradition!)
- cooking fluffly scrambled egg with su rou song for Nia (THAT TASTED AWESOME)

- frolicks ytd (which viv had sent a complaint because of the poor service the lady gave, received a reply that said that she will be punished accordingly AND THEN receiving a voucher!)
- fruity loops (though i much prefer frosties. The colours were too enticing)

Do they look colourful or colourful? Heheh.

It's 1:30 now and I'm feeling exhausted. Put in a good load of effort for this post! I'm finally done with this.

Hope you guys have enjoyed this one!
Hope to come up with another one soon :D

Stay safe and keep calm,
toodles!

These comforting sounds.

2011-08-28T16:24:00.002+08:00

I don't feel alright in spite of these comforting sounds you make.
I don't feel alright because you make promises that you break.
Into your house, why don't we share our solitude?
Nothing is pure anymore but solitude.
It's hard to make sense, feels as if I'm sensing you through a lens.
If someone else comes, I'd just sit here listening to the drums.
Previously I never called it solitude.
And probably you know all the dirty shows I've put on.
Blunted and exhausted like anyone.
Honestly I tried to avoid it.
Honestly.
Back when we were kids, we would always know when to stop.
And now all the good kids are messing up.
Nobody has gained or accomplished anything.

I would've long died without music.

Thank you SAPS, YISS & PJC

2011-08-02T22:11:00.005+08:00

[refer to title]

For the new friends I made,

For the friends who stuck with me through thick and thin,

For the bitches who backstabbed me,

For the people who walked out of my life,

For people who broke my heart,

And last, but not the least, for the people who made me happy:

--

Got it from tumblr :-)

I survived the mid-years with horrid marks...well... Terrible for the H2 and relatively well for H1 - which is small comfort because the focus is on your H2.

Wondering each day: what the bloody hell am I doing in JC, a useless route that guarantees me to NO WHERE unless I can secure straight As.

I get a B or a C, or any worse than that, not only do I not get into the faculty/course I desire, I'd either be forced to do something I don't like or I'd have to go private or overseas. That's a sad truth about the Singapore's education system. One reason I wouldn't fancy the meritocracy system: because when you use education as a leveler, the competition in such a small country with such little universities available is going to be doubly high. *shakes head*

About 7 weeks more till my promotional exams. I never thought I'd have to worry too much about getting retained, but seeing where I am right now.......there may well be a chance!

BOOKS AND JC THEY BREAK MY BONES AND PENKNIVES AND BLADES THEY EXCITE ME NANANANANA C'MON.

I will definitely not give up (though I wish I was else where doing something that gives me a more useful cert with a more guaranteed future) and I'll make things work! That's what JC fundamentally requires anyway.

Good luck to all JC kids, expect a more lengthy post when National Day nears and when I have time to properly assess JC life and DISCOURAGE YOU (understandably) PICKY TEENS DECIDING JC/POLY/MI/PI ROUTE!

And not to mention a review of the final movie franchise of Harry Potter - my reason for reading, the one responsible for fueling my passion for english, my- yeah you get me. Did I mention over a thousand photos to update as well?! Well I'll be fucked.

ALL IN GOOD TIME.
LOVE ME, WHEN I DON'T DO SO FOR MYSELF.
toodles!

Somewhere Only We Know

2011-06-17T05:00:00.007+08:00

It has been a little over two months since I've last blogged, and the reason is the same as every other - time strapped. I didn't realize how much a Junior College can take away from a person's life. I'm surprised at what I've turned into when I left the compounds for good for a month (June Hols) and what I've exited with.

A back with many holes, an aching heart, a bruised ego, self-doubts, regular fears and worries and more white hairs. Not to mention more pile of work to catch up with and a social life to revive.

If you think you've seen most of what life has to offer, think again. Even I am surprised. I've been through one hell of a roller coaster ride these past 10 weeks. Malicious, manipulative, devious people who has unimaginably thick masks to hide behind as well as many lies to spout, incredibly selfish people who honestly think that the world revolves around them, and people who are direct and tactless, careless with their words and sharp with their thoughts (sometimes a little too sharp).

Did I know I was going to be lied to? That I would face a crowd of clever actors and actresses who either in reality are actually insecure, hurting individuals trying to look intimidating or are planning for some grand master plan for self-gain? Did I know I was going to be fooled, to be slammed down hard, to not get what I had thought I could get? Did I know I was going to struggling with self-esteem problems on a whole new level? Did I know, I was going to miss what I had back in the Secondary school days when life was a lot less filled with dramas and tensions, and especially what I had shared with the people there?

I was not prepared for it. For a few days, not consecutively, I was not what I had started out to be. I couldn't smile as much as I normally would, I had my plate so filled that my head would hurt and I'd be exhausted mentally and emotionally within minutes. I was glum, I no longer radiated anything. I dare not speak too much, 'fraid I say something wrong.

Friendship problems started to arise, slapping me hard in the face with feelings of loneliness, anger, neglectfulness, desertion, unjust, confusion, desperation, anguish carrying along with it. I make friends and I lose some. A few that were once so dear to me. I become more paranoid, wondering all the time if the friendship with that certain few is authentic or platonic. Wondering if I should hold onto it or let go. Fearful of this person entering my life today to leave one day soon. Is it my fault or theirs? That is another dimension to look into and to analyse. It drains me.

You get wronged for certain things and misjudged. You could be genuinely sincere, you could be looking into the person's eye, catching everything they say word for word, and yet be tagged as being fake. You could be called for and contacted more often by some teachers, and with your response to it to help out, you could be seen as a suck-up or a wannabe teacher's pet. You'll be thrown with new adjectives that had not crossed your mind before to use.

It's amazing. All these feelings feels like an infected wound that is steadily growing worse and that stings more frequently. One that bleeds, that has dirt all around, that is sore.

I've in fact almost perfected my impartiality in dire situations. I have learnt a few valuable 'morals': -

1. Whatever that does not kill you only makes you stronger.

2. In a conflict, it is never only one person's fault. All parties involved have a part to blame.

3. Everything has a blessing in disguise.

4. Begin with the end in mind.

5. Many things can hit you, break you and push you, but it's how you stand at the end that accounts for what you really are.

6. You can be as technical as you like on intangible things like friendship and love, but at the end of the day, perception sets everything apart.

7. You can't always get what you like and what you want, so don't expect so much. In fact, try not to even expect anything.

8. It takes more effort and energy to hate someone than to love. You spend more time picking on their flaws than to accept them. Neutrality is the way to go.

9. Be sincere in making friends, in talking to people. Make them feel like their existence matter.

10. Do not be impatient. Improvements comes with time, being hard on yourself does not make result appear any faster.

These are the 10 I can think of at least, in no order. Trying to integrate them with how I view problems.

Can these help me get through a year half more of school? I really, really hope so. I wish to blog and update you with the thousands of photos I owe. I want to get straight As or a few Bs. I... am distraught.

Can I do it?

I know she is one of them who believes me.

Thank you Shereen, for reappearing in my life in 2007. For staying with me till now. For being my friend, a friend I see myself with many, many years down the road till our hairs turn gray. (lolz i know, i know, cheesy)

You know how you have to have that one friend that stays with you all the way? I believe I have one here.

It's post-Shereen day as of now, but Happy (belated) Birthday @sherzywerzy. @enex is grateful for 16 June, 1994.

*:*:*:*

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and thank you for your support for this blog, for having your loyalty not fully wavered despite the lack of postings. It's people like you guys who makes blogging a lot more enjoyable.

I want to blog soon, but it will depend on school's schedule for me now :(

I've had a very, very filled first three weeks of my holiday. And I mean filled. In the coming final week, time will be invested on trying to ace my H2 subjects. A B is also good, and I hope I don't get a grade lower. Mid-years for my H2 subjects will be at the end of the month and it will then be the start of Semester 2. Soon it will be my promotions exams and then in a blink of an eye, I will be in J2, preparing for my A's.

Sigh, I'm growing up so fast. Seems like just yesterday I'd be home in front of my computer somewhere in the mid of 2006 typing furiously, blogging about my day earlier on with Pris walking Caley or some outing or adventure I've had.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

toodles.

[post edited on 21//06]

Gal on the moon?

2011-04-24T01:13:00.009+08:00

I'm either fucking stressed and pressured, or flamboyantly gay.

[insert hashtags]
#jckid #sgedu #ithasonlybeen2andahalfmonths #sadlife

I was pretty much of both a study-wreck and an emotional-wreck the past few weeks. Battling against sleep, doubts, books, loneliness, underappreciation and probably home as well.

But I'm not complaining.

Life's a bitch but I've still got to smile.

Sad thing is...
I smile to everyone but myself.

*-*-*-*-*

First birthday celebration with a PJC mate and that's Sarah:)

Her post will be done up another day but happy birthday anyway darl!!! Glad you enjoyed the surprise+outing!

Had a fail class outing to Ben & Jerry's the other day. 5 went out of 26, AWESOME. United I thought we were. /facepalm

NONETHELESS, these five ain't no ordinary beings because they are fanfuckingtastic hahaha. I had a great time with them.

Class having Tug-O-War during a PE Lesson, showing ME how important bonds are.

Being with Giselle for lots of things and feeling really glad about it too:)

Saying hello and goodbye to Danial as has decided his path of life in Aussie,

Understanding how 'sacred' Good Fridays are and meeting up with dear WX and ZN again (+having a good chat with Jan)

Getting MAROON 5 CAT 1 TIX and going with these two retarded crazy and EVERSOAMAZING GIRLS.

And feeling suppressed altogether.

I miss all of you, so, fucking, much.

People who matters, people I barely see nowadays, people that has walked across my heart and has left an imprint.

Get the feeling of that constant tummy ache and a slight flip or ache in your heart thinking about your past? How about being guilty for going out, or for lazing in your bed the whole day instead of revising? How about that frustration and exasperation when there's this generation gap between you and her? Or how about the yearning to listen, the yearning to love and the yearning to be loved?

Fuck your life too.

It's never fair and it's never too completely short (for the shorts, literally)

SleepEconsSleepyEcons

i'll be back soon <3

Debate, debate & more debate.

2011-03-27T13:50:00.016+08:00

Had a dilemma choosing between Basketball Girls, Touch Rugby, and Debate.

(Which will become my CCA for the rest of my two years stay in PJC.)

I've already had experience with Basketball and Debate in YI, so Touch Rug seemed to appeal more. I went for the tryouts and found myself liking it - though of course the injuries that I've gotten in the first hour gave me a shock.

Took a breath and went ahead, penning down "Debates" on my CCA form paper. I know I'll have fun in it, won't regret it and will help to pull it up.

Hur hur, side track, check me out in a round of debates in 2009 and 2010 respectively:

Hahahaha.

Verdict?

Each Wednesdays full debate to do and already I got in for the Harry Elias Tournament and an impromptu SMU Invitational Debates to partake in.

Top is the debate teams sent for the SMU Invitational Debates and the one below, my team for the two competition I'm up for, plus my mentor Ming Yang:)

Met up AND competed with Fatima in the SMU one! What a coincidence huh hehe.

(i have to rub it in - we won :3)

That was all about three weeks ago.

What am I doing now in debates?

More involved than ever.

As I've mentioned above, I'm down for this Harry Elias Tournament, which is a different style of debating. This is one which requires us to 'debate' the same way as how lawyers/prosecutors would in a litigation process. Written submissions, written rebuttals, get through to top 8 and complete again the same, though for the semi-finals, you get to speak to your Opponents face to face.

I've been spending my whole fucking holiday on this. I really mean it, it's not like I spend about 10 hours and have 14 hours left for the day to do other shit. From the moment I'm up I start preparing to go else where to meet, start doing, all the way till 10pm - 12am. On Monday to Tuesday, I even 'slept' over at Jon's place to complete our first written submission. (i put the apostrophes because technically, i didn't sleep)

That is on top of our debate training.

My grades are going to slip, I know that, because I have very little time to do my homework/revise let alone relax. Sigh. Just last week, Billy counted; I have had only 15 hours of sleep in total, from Monday - Friday. And on Friday to Saturday when I can finally sleep longer, I had 11 hours on that one day itself. Imagine how much sleep I've lost. Mr lee tells me it will take a toll on me one day. I'm wondering when, and how. ~,~

OF COURSE COMPLAINING ASIDE, I do learn from this. And it does make me cherish my time more, and of course, I've a pair of great team mates to work with:

:):)

*intermission*

Rachael suggested A05 having a picnic at the grandstand's field, and so we did:)

Sadly there was some miscommunication so Clarabelle, Xavier, Melody and Adrienne didn't get to join us :(( We'll have a more complete group photo one day soon darlings :hearts:

School is great, really. I have wonderful, wonderful classmates. Not joking. And each all having their own individual personalities. It's a mix of a lot of different people. I find myself molding into a wallflower, preferring to observe actually.

I have a ton of workload. It's an added pile from the homework stack I was supposed to complete sigh. It's 4:44PM (make a wish!) now already. I've spent near two hours on this post! I've to get going to complete homework, revise and study for the coming three tests ugh. Did I mention about NOT having any idea for my PI for Project Work? Yeah well there you have it.

-.- Unsurprisingly, there's a hovering thought in my head, asking myself why the fuck am I still studying when I'm so much more happier going out, taking pictures, having fun, blogging doing every thing unrelated to studying. Even if I wanted to, I could wiki my own, google my own, read my own. WHY WHY WHY.

All I can do is to stamp out that thought and push on. I'll get this two years done and over with, find myself with the few precious friend that I am supposed to acquaint myself with, be successful in debates and in life for that period and see myself knowing what I want to do for Uni, be it UK or SG.

SKOOL ASIDE,

Did you do your part?

It's a little effort that goes a long way :)

In Singapore and the second pic, some random place from around the world.

:*:*:*:

In a corner so dark, cold and estranged
Anyone, their heart'll ache, engulfed in despair
Exhaled breaths I unknowingly held there
Grief, agonizing pain gloomed, as I stared
A grotesque monster stood, loved? No one dared
It shone with imperfections when it's bare
Hate filled the eyes, with clenched teeth and a glare
Hands desperate, to claw away the fats
Battle against eating and to be thin
With arms so flabby and with thighs so thick
With stomach bulging and weight at it's peak
Food itself, it's a calorie filled sin
Monster took a step back and looked ahead
It looked me back, the mirror, it was me.

My first attempt at writing a Patrarchan sonnet. lit homework.

Not satisfied with anything that I am, not satisfied with anything that I have; physically. All I can do is to envy...envy...and envy...

BANDOFHORSESCOLDPLAYTEMPERTRAPBEACHHOUSEARCTICMONKEYSLADYGAGA

KIDCUDITHELASTSHADOWPUPPETSSTEREOPHONICSRADIOHEADTHEXXDEATHCABFORCUTIE

Keeps me sane.

STAY STRONG HUNNIES, SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES.
You know I won't ever abandon this blog T^T
(i spent a total of four hours on this post)

With many many truckloads of love,
toodles.

Tired.

2011-03-05T20:17:00.002+08:00

Near almost a month since I last blogged :(

Am not keeping my promise at all, am I? I didn't knew JC life would already start out this tiring. As of now, I have two essays, one sonnet, maths & econs homework to be completed by this coming monday. That's on top of the current History and GP project I have AND plus the notes for literature and for econs which I have to compile.

I haven't even started doing any external reading to gain better understanding for History which I desperately want to, same as to the Elizabethan age and the literature back in the olden days. There's so many things to do yet so little time.

Have I mentioned that I am over 2 weeks due for at least 8 of my library books? I refuse to return it yet because I want to read it!

I'm returning home late everyday, because if I'm not busy with debate, I'll be cooped at the McD, mugging at a corner. I don't want to go home to study. I know I'll only head towards my bedroom and sleep.

I would say school is great so far, but I know me. Sometimes I'm really just battling with lies.

I look at my schedule book, one which contains the picture of us. I look at every face there and lament sadly on our days back then, and how we have all already more or less moved on. How our importance to each other has been reduced.

I barely see Billy even though I'm in the same school as him. Every moment passes so quickly. I miss him too. I miss everyone.

My school started on 27 January with the orientation, and officially started on 11/14 February. It's been less than a month (for my official commencement of lessons). Feel like 'tis been 3 months.

Surprising thing so far here at PJC is the amount of SAPS friends I've managed to be reacquainted with. Najihah, Yu Fei, Jia Sheng, Brandon Goh, Wan Yi, Shu Fen and this Indian dude. I'm also in the same school with Wynona Alim (!) and with Jie Xin, from NCO, and not to mention my morning buddy Karthik.

I'm really stealing time and my mood here to do this quick post so I should probably get off now :(

D'you know what would be a really heartening thing to see for me?

A FB wallpost and an effort to meet up.

Ending the post with The Temper Trap's Soldier On playing.

toodles, I will post as fast as I can...by 11 March (start of hols!) :)))

10th Day.

2011-02-12T14:42:00.012+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOO.

It has been really long since I last blogged and there is a growing list of posts that I owe already :( My excuse is still because I am busy!

Happily busy.

Every morning now, I take a bus to the interchange, take MRT to choa chu kang, board 911 and walk down the hill towards my school with a large crowd of people (which comprises of Teck Whye Primary & Secondary students as well)

And how was my first five day orientation with my MG group? (a group of about 20 with students mixed from all streams)

(our mass dance + favourite move & us doing the awesome cheer)

It was pretty awesome. I was blessed with a really friendly lot of group mates, and we quickly opened up and became closer to each other by the second day. Incidentally, I was also blessed with having really really great OGLs (aka facilitators), Afiqah, Yee Ching, Jeremy and Hui Ling.

They never fail to try and keep us hyper, and they are loud and proud of our group, not to mention responsible:) It was pretty sad leaving them all on the last day, at our farewell party in LT2 for my MG34, and seeing the group photo they printed for us + the contact list. However then again, I was also happy - because I can finally meet my classmates and be with them.

Verdict?

11A05 it was.

It is my fifth day being with my class - yes my classmates, as of now, and you know what?

I'm even more happier than I've been.

I've such an awesome and united class. Right from the first day we've all met during our orientation 2D1N camp, we've joked, laughed, chatted together, and we're all already very comfortable with each other. Most of us, at least :)

I've been with them for only five days but it feels like I've known them for a few weeks.

To put it easily anyway, we're very bonded, and I am really glad and lucky to be put into A05.
INCIDENTALLY, I am the class's vice chairman wahahhahaha. The one thing I am really glad about that job, other than being able to be with my great partner-in-crime Eswara, is that I get to represent OWENS!!!!

In JC we have houses (I believe Yusof used to have but I've no idea why they've abolished the idea after we entered) namely Keller, Owens, Byron, Darwin, Polo and Nobel. And I'm in blue!

Owens isn't as outstanding as Keller and Darwin YET, but with me, Karthik and a few bunch of other really enthusiastic people I met during the orientation camp, I'm sure we'll strive to bring it up high! I'm really proud of it:)

Never even thought of being in blue actually lol. I was targetting Orange, Darwin.

So, is Owens and PJ lucky to have me, or not? hahahaha JOKING.

In my class, we've also have this two special ladies, who have different conditions that causes them to be partially blind.

Amanda and Charmaine :)

It is my first time actually being with people who're partially blind (not counting my grandma) and I am moved by their resilience and positivity. They are used to their condition, cheerful and not to mention CLEVER. Can you imagine how hard it is for them to study, yet they can do so well, well enough to be in JC and be in our class?

Anyway they've both given me an insight into my life and I thank them for that B)

These past few days have soared passed really quickly, and my lessons have officially begun on Thursday. I have an Econs 7 question homework already due next Thursday lol!

I've pretty much adjusted to this lifestyle already, though now I must make sure I will be consistent in my studies next week onwards (where the introductions should have already all been done and dealt with).

I've a great class, great friends all round from different classes so far already, great billy and karthik being my school mates + go-to-school-together mates, great teachers and a great school.

My favourite panda has already spoken for me.

I am proud to be a Pioneer :)

An Anthonian, Yusoffian and now, a Pioneer. SOUNDS BETTER THAN JJ-IANS RIGHT. HAHAHA.

I've a few bunch of other posts to update you with seriously, but time isn't on my side and I've to rush out nowwwww. I will do my best to get it all done asap if I'm not completely zoned out by the time I reach home for the next few days!

AND ALSO PROUDLY ANNOUNCING: YI debate has gotten through the first round and won the first competition!!! ^-^ ever so proud of Verlynn, Jiwon and Melissa. Thanks Hsu for coming back to help too!

^-^

Aight, time for me to get off.
Thank you for reading!

toodlydoo.

THREE THINGS.

2011-01-27T00:44:00.003+08:00

HAI.
Short blog post.

Just THREE things on mind to share.

1 -
THANK YOU ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Appreciate it all very much!

:D

2-
New Ukelele in our family! Shall learn it from Jie the moment she has mastered it! hehehe.

3-

Ya I know my full name is funny.

Funny how PJC doesn't have a term for it's students! Like St Anthony's is Anthonian, Yusof Ishak is Yusoffian. I shall call it... Pioneerite!

It's 00:59AM and I srsly gtg to bed. FML right? Results on 26 and school on 27. 7.30am.

One of the things that will be hard for me to accept for going to PJC?
Not being able to sleep too late anymore.

Lucky poly people -_- have a good load of fun before April you twats.

Aight, I'll attempt to force myself to sleep (my everyday sleepy time is like 5am wtf)
WISH ME LUCK FOR MY ORIENTATION, HOPE IT GOES SMOOTH.

Bai bai, 2 more owed posts!
toodles!

How the days flew by.

2011-01-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

HELLO.
I tried doing this post on 19th January. Look at how long it took to get it done!
Blame me for delaying it, and blame Blogger for making things so difficult!

NONETHELESS, here's a long post to show you how my days has gone by, starting from 7th January, on Joevenn's birthday:)

Kor and me gave him a surprise.

We tricked him and made him think that we were going to East Coast Park to bowl with Jie, and I lied and said Jie parked wrongly so we had to walk to her carpark to pick her up. We were actually bringing Joevenn to his pit 17, where Bern and Kev is there:)

What did he do when he realized what was actually happening?

He buttfucked Bern.

Neh, just kidding :P

He looked really touched, and was truly surprised. Happy that our plans had worked, big thanks to Kor! ^^

It has already been the seventh year for the both of us, counting 2011. Still gonna go on strong ^^

Glad that these two dropped by!

Little, I know, but I guess we were all caught on a day when most of Joev's buds couldn't make it, so it can't be helped.

Started off the party, now that the people who should be here are all here:)

17 shots for Joevenn, for his Birthday :P

Us taking our individual cups for the second round hehe.

On top of drinking, we played with sparklers too.

And I kept trying to construct rockets, based on what Jeff had taught me.

None too successful of course :P

As we barbecued, we were also accompanied by many battalions of NS men, apparently having their 'marching parade' or something O.O.

We stayed out till about 3 - 4, and Jon sent all of us home. ^^ Thanks man.

Hope Joev had a good time with us! hehehe.

Fast forwarding onto 13th Jan, I went out bowling, and pooling with these people:

Hahahha.

I sucked at bowling. After bowling, we, the whole big group, went to take a bus down to play pool!

It was pretty fun ^^ Lucky me, paired with Samuel. We won every round - except 1 round when he accidentally shot in the black ball LOL. At 4, Weixian and me had to leave the place to go back for band training.

Byebye to the place with a karaoke which provides halal malay songs!

CCA DAY, 12 Jan.

Been practicing since December, going back for trainings because Band needed players, so alumnis went back to help. Clarinet had enough people, so I went to take up the saxophone. Been 6 years since I last played it (though of course the tenor sax and soprano sax are similar)

Played Spanish Rose, Can You Feel The Love Tonight and Sorry. Not too shabby! Wish band had more committed members though sigh ~_~

Played basketball with Fahmi a while, before the band went to the parade square to have another round of an impromptu performance

^^

Played 2008, 2010 SYF songs, and of course the songs we played that day again nonstop. Proud of the band's percussion! Always upbeat and passionate about their playing. Thanks Bern for taking the photos! The last photo there will be the 2011 group photo of band :P

The boys playing ball there. Brought a smile to my face, 'tis been long since I last seen a few of my fav people playing bball in school.

Back to band room for..........

Debriefing and more photos! hahahah. Those dudes up there are your alumni + 5 drum majors.

I left the school with Bern, who accompanied me home. I decided to go get ingredients for baking cookies, didn't know why I had the sudden urge to!

My oven ain't those built in ones, it's the portable one, but thank God it worked fine!

Second batch LOL, first batch quite fail because too much, and all cramped together. Almost like a flat pie.

Subsequent batches! ^^

After a whole afternoon of baking, Jie called to ask me for dinner with Joev, Kor and Daren. ooof...... so full already...

(their oil)

It was at a korean barbecue restaurant.

Heh, ate till it's closing time, then we left.

Not ready to go home yet, so where did we go-o-o-o?

To Playnation! Spent a good load of time there playing the games, pretty fun! Scotland Yard shall be my new favourite game hehhee. I prefer Playnation over Hangouts! Go there, opposite Peace Centre in Dhoby Ghaut area.

On top of all these 'activities', I've also spent time with my fav Thailand dude,

Bank ^^

He came back to get his O's results and he was off a few days later. Spent three good days with him, fetching him, going out and sending him off.

Blur photo on his flight off. I was late and he was in a rush :(

He'll be off for very long to do his studies, so I guess it'll be a long time before I meet him again. Take care Bank! :)

Now. What's up recently?

This is an awesome vege LOL

And I went to have my haircut.

Before the cut. Unglam face, I know but you had to see the back of my hair! WTF horrid, that's why I was pretty desperate to snip it all off. Whenever it reaches my shoulder it curls like that. And my hair is hella thick.

Check Jie and my before, and now check the after :P

Not ready to show my face yet, but you can see the hair on my last post la, on my 17th Birthday post hahahah. At first I thought it was not bad, but now I don't like it :( Feel it's too short or something ugh.

WELL, that about sums up my few days of MIA (up till 19 Jan)

I'm doing up one more short post after this then I'm off to bed!
toodles!

Magical Seventeen

2011-01-25T04:25:00.000+08:00

I am.. seventeen.

The trace has been removed, I am of legal age according to the wizardry law, and in the Muggle world, I am one year away from reaching their legal age.

The day would be wasted if I didn't celebrate such an occasion.
HIGHlights?

lul :P

Just kidding. The main one was this:

And of course, this:

Excited? Ready for the post?

HERE WE GO~ :cough:

Started off the day meeting up with Shereen to go get my helium balloons. It was all the way at Bedok, in Parkway Parade!

The ladies, fixing up my balloons for me. They did it in godlike speed!

The most expensive of the $1 lot of 17 black balloons, my walking helium panda balloon, $14.90 :D

You can buy all of these at Party Joy, check google for their site or head down to the second floor of Parkway Parade to find them :)

Isn't he KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE?

Met up with Chin Yen along at Cityhall, and we made our way back to Woodlands to get a cab to go to Casablanca.

It was a long, tiring and uncomfortable ride for us. Extra horrid when Sher and me were on the shuttle bus back to Bedok station, because we had to stand and hold the balloons well. The moment we've reached, as typical Singaporeans, the passengers pushed and stood up quickly, blocking our way, seemingly trying to make a run for it. What the fuck's the hurry for?!! And in the train, bedok - cityhall was another terrible journey. It was mad squeezy and we were standing near the door, hence causing a problem whenever someone needs to come in and go out. D:

Thank God, the three of us could fit into the taxi and the driver didn't complain about our noisy, obstructing balloons (who kept making those rubbery sounds).

Reached soon after, and had a pleasant surprise with the function room.

Daren had helped to take pictures of the room for me to show me, and it looked pretty bad from them. I thought I had wasted my $50. THANK GOD that wasn't so much of the case. It's OK.

Here's the ceiling ^^

I left quickly though, because I had to rush home to get all the heavy stuff - boom box, tripod, cloth, etc. Here's them camwhoring without me around. (nich looks so cute in the first photo hehehehe)

My camera is so awesome.

The pizza arrived, and shortly after, most of the attendees arrived too......with hats in their hands...;)

(nuggets WONDERFULLY made by Samuel! Thanks!)

With food in place, hats in place and people present, it's time to start off the party eating, and camwhoring:)

After we're all about done with eating, they all became very fascinated with my helium balloons O.O.

First there's one about sucking the helium gas to make annoyingly and hilariously high pitched voice (for a few seconds)

And then they all started to gather the balloons together to tie them up or something =.=

Anyway, we had a while of this small fun, and I started arranging the chairs to play Musical Chairs, suggested by Zay Nyein:)

While I was arranging, they dimmed the lights and I craned my neck, to see a candle flickering from a distant. I smiled wryly, and said "I can see it" to Joev hahaha. He jabbed me and said, "then pretend you didn't!" I shut my eyes and blindly walked over near to the table and opened my eyes again when I heard everyone breaking into a birthday song for me.

I saw Bern holding this brown coloured cake, and I see someone in green closely following him. It was the idiot Billy who've been telling me he couldn't make it to my Birthday because of his parents! I gave him a quick hug and focused on the big load of thing on the tray Bern was holding.

It was amazing.

It was a fuckin' hogwarts-like textbook, with the Gryffindor scarf wrapped around it! It looked so beautiful, and the seventeen candles were absolutely lovely. I loved the cake, it looked so authentic, it truly completed the whole Harry Potter themed party.

Now, if you were wondering in the first place, what's with the hats, the black balloons, everyone dressing up pretty 'darkly' and the cake. Read what I wrote at the top of the post again, and you'll realize that 17 is an age that is just as important to us when we're 21. (yes 21 not 18) There's no better way to celebrate my 17th Birthday than to celebrate it the way that the wizards/witches would if it were theirs:)

Gratified, really. Gotta thank my homies, and samuel, the ten of them who chipped in for it. I'd reckon it's the best cake ever, in my 17 years (though of course not the best tasting one :P)

Me with the wand and the cake ^^

We played Musical Chairs, three rounds actually, to make sure everyone in the room took part. It was pretty difficult to even get people to join me, but I'm glad that they, no matter how begrudgingly, still did. Even Nicholas and Darren who were the hardest, they still joined in at the end (and guess what? they both emerged as the winners of the rounds they were in. Chin Yen first, Darren second and Nicholas on the third round)

(that picture there shows the joy of musical chairs innit? sadly it's chian yin who got out this time hehe)

The fans who watched.

That has definitely got to top the night. I really enjoyed hearing laughters erupting out from them, it puts my heart at ease, because I've been worrying that the party would turn out rotten and bad, and I'd be wasting people's time.

After three rounds, decided to stop, and I went on to having individual shots with them, or of them! ^^

There's loads more, really and I'm doing no justice showing you just these measly few. No judgement based on the photos I chose, please.

Time passed a little slow earlier on, but as we took photos, it passed a lot quicker.

It was soon after 10, (the end of my booking time) so we all tried our best to clean up before we left.

I, happily, took off the heels I've been wearin' all day and switched back to my BKK favourites.

I had a lot to carry, and luckily I had Joev and Bern to send me back.

We all left in a big group and split up to take different taxis.

That about sums up my party,

And here's Billy here now telling you to fuck off :P

Kidddingz, my day hasn't ended yet!

Went with Joevenn to go meet up Kor, Jon and Jere. It was supposed to be a bigger crowd than this, but the plans had been messed up and a lot of misinterpretation and misunderstanding ~_~ sigh. Nonetheless at least I could still meet up with these three.

Went over near Mustafa to get the alcohol, and then we returned back to Jere's house first to settle down a while.

Boy am I jealous.

He got them in a bloody hardcover, whereas I got mine in a soft cover, JUST A FEW WEEKS from when the book first published!!! In fact, right now I can't even find them :(

I loved Fantastic Beasts, but I couldn't bring up any interest for Quidditch Through Ages, it really seemed boring. Ugh. Lucky prick.

At the car. Jeremy stuffed his Mom's doll into Kor's face.

We went over to pack Mac's, and headed to Mount Faber to slack there. It is, honestly, my first time there.

Left after spending over an hour there. Sadly the drinks didn't help to improve on my emotions nor thinking. I was pretty much an emotional wreck after leaving the party but I won't go into details.

Went back home, chatted with Jeremy and Jie.. and a whole lot of things that came after.

Quite amazed now, when I think of it, at how I ended my Birthday, being like that and feeling like that. Sigh.

Nonetheless,

No day completely ends unless I sleep. And there's the sky (with flash) when I've woken up. - taken by Jie, not me.

I am 17 for a day now. Haha.

I've had a great 17 birthday party, and I deeply appreciate the people who had turned up and who had given me such crazily sweet gifts.

Thankful for all the people who left me wall posts, calls, messages and @twitter mentions.

I end off my post with a great group photo we took:

Still gonna live on this life of mine:)

(blogger is still fucking up though I don't understand miraculously, updates for this birthday post is a lot faster compared to the other post. I owe three posts now. Must get them done before 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOPE YOU'RE STILL ENJOYIN'. Thank you for following this blog.
toodles.

I CAN'T!!!

2011-01-22T05:24:00.004+08:00

Trust me when I say, I WANT TO BLOG.
But the friggin' thing is, Blogger seems to have some issues with it's photo uploading service. It's either too slow (or maybe blame Starhub) or it'll just fuck up in the middle of it's process and say "Bad Request" wtf. Loads of time this has happened, and it frustrates me to no end.

My next post will be a few days all together in one, so there are plenty of pictures and I'm having such a hard time trying to even get the pictures up. Spare me.

I've four posts now to do already :( Damn you Blogger, you're not making the job any easier for me.

WELL SINCE I'LL JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT ANYWAY FIRST:

I GOT A NEW CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olympus Pen EPL-1.

Thank you Canon Powershot E1, for the memorable and lovely two years spent with you. You served me well as my first camera.

You gave me a vision which can only be seen through your lenses. You let me capture special moments. You allowed me to be the photographer of events. You gave me the ability to express.

Although now at your final weeks with me, the photo quality seems to be decreasing (becoming more grainy, 've no idea why!), but I've still enjoyed every second with you.

It's time for me to move on, finally, to a DSLR.

A mini DSLR.

Yes, that's what an Olympus Pen EPL-1 is about.

It has the functions/features similar to that of a DSLR, but the difference is just that it is more compact and lighter. The scene modes are still the same - in fact more, since it has 19 - and their lenses are able to be adjusted to manual/auto focus and also has a 3X zoom in.

On top of all that, it has an art filter (which I'm in lahv with) and it's fast shutter speed + customizable flash effects pulls me in further.

I've been yearning for this camera since last year May++++, when I first saw it in advertisements, and later seeing XX doing a review on it. I knew this was the camera I wanted to have next, before years later when I'm much more professional, I can get a proper and expensive DSLR.

:3 Thank you, daddy.
Better quality photos coming your way AFTER the Bangkok post!

For now.......I'm sorry, just enjoy this current space, watch some Smosh, Peter Chao, Raw William Johnson and Lil Jon. I'm sure that'll keep yer entertained.

Birthday was supposed to be in 2 days (cos meant to blog this on 21/01) so here's my promo pic.

yeayea I know by now it's less than a day away lol omg. can't believe it. but deal with that first.

Off to the flyer flea tomorrow to sell things!
I'LL BLOG SOON, AS SOON AS YOU TELL BLOGGER TO STOP FUCKIN' UP.

i keed, i keed. i'll try my best. but blogger pisses me off :/
p.s: i cut my hair.
toodles!

O Level Results Day

2011-01-19T03:29:00.000+08:00

Hellooooooooo.
It's been eight days past one of the biggest moment of my life - the O Level results day.

(in the hall after 2pm)

Started to feel really nervous few minutes before the release. I blogged, if you read 2 posts before this, to try and ease my nerves. It helped for a while, but after all my girls had gotten their results and when it was about 5 girls more before I get mine, my calm exterior broke down and I went into this 'walking' frenzy......

Finally, after Xue Yan, the moment of truth.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
English Language, B3

Not being cheesy or melodramatic, but my whole world came crashing upon me.

I quickly glanced through the other results, another pang of pain in my heart, seeing that my Combined Humanities had gotten another B3 too. The other results were fine, and my breathing became easier seeing that I had gotten distinctions for my double maths and core geog (seeing that the previous results from others hadn't been good for c.geo)...but my eyes returned back to the spot at the top of the page.

English Language, B3.

I've had Mr lee, Kor, Mrs B, Mrs Azwiza, Jie, Philip, a few many others who have been trying to talk me out of staying depressed.

I am trying to get over the disappointment.

This isn't about me not being humble, not accepting the fact that there are people who're better than me out there. It really isn't. I accept that, I'm not arrogant. Neither am I overly arrogant nor complacent, because I've tirelessly worked my way through the last few months, and have consulted, read and wrote. Even if there was a hint of complacency, it couldn't have resulted in this...

This is about me, failing to meet up to my expectations. English is a subject I am passionate about, and though I have gotten Bs before, my standard is still an A. Getting a B3 for this national exam is hard to accept.

Sigh, I won't continue brooding over this matter for now anyway:)

My results were generally pretty fine. I don't feel anything for my science results, and am quite pleased anyway that I passed Chem. Though all my results haven't met my target, but I'm content with them (just except for english).

I just wanna add on with a big middle finger right up at your face, if you are judging me, thinking "this bitch is retarded, i'd gladly switch with her results and she's here crying." fuck you right there. If you don't get how I feel, keep your comments to yourself. As if I don't know what they are.

++

Planned to head over to MGCY's house to bake cookies + to have a sleepover! Good way to keep my mind off things:)

Thanks Eliz for helping a lil!

First attempt, lul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too much cookies hahaha, and more flour is needed!

Aaaand, this would be our third/fourth batch:)

After the round of yummy cookies, we had our dinner cooked by Mary! omnom.

Following on isssssssssssssss OUR MOVIE MARATHON! heheh.

Confessions of a teenage drama queen & Despicable Me.

ITZ SO FLUFFY I COULD DIE.

Pretty good, watching 'em all ^^
Agnes is a little overrated... @.@

CAMWHORING NEXT.

(Chin Yen, before she went up to MGCY's room supposedly to 'sleep')

(we have tons more photos, but i'm stopping at this with MGCY staring idly at you.)

Went up to mich's room only to realize chin yen hadn't slept!!! hahahahaha, soooooooooooooo what does that mean?

MORE CAMWHORING!!! wheeeeeeeeee.

Camwhored for over an hour I think! Retarded, all the way till vivian was exhausted and retreated to dreamland, with Ebel hahahaa.

What to do for the three still-awake owls?

We URobic (omfg srsly it's damn fun and funny, i can't find the video we took though, or i'd upload and show y'all!!!) and we camwhore SOMEMORE!

Hahahhaha, what a day.

First, emotional trauma and breakdown, then a whole load of picture taking and girly time:)

Went to sleep somewhere near four, and got up at 11 and had our breakfast served by aminah shrn!

Good life.

Thanks Chian Yin for being sucha generous host and Mary for all the help! ^^ Couldn't have had a better activity to do after getting national exam results than this heheh.

Envy us? =3

toodles!

What's up with people?

2011-01-14T16:53:00.001+08:00

Blogging this from my BB!

Just came back from Joevenn's surprise barbecue, many thanks to Jon for sending me home:) I didn't take the most fantastic photos there...but anyway it'll be a post done another day.

I was just thinking about all the little things that satisfies people, or entertains them. Which to me, is really stupid. Thought I could share it with you people while it's on my mind.. (yes wordy post)

1. People amused with playing with acronyms.
- I mean, some jokes with it is fine, probably like F.B.I being 'female breast inspector'..but recently people are so amused with things like H.A.T.E.R.S, 'Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success'....S.T.U.D.Y, 'Sleeping, talking, unlimited texting, dreaming, yawning'....W T F? Does knowing that make you any happier?????

I'm not stopping anyone from doing so but it's just annoying.

2. "For every minute you stay angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."
- What? So for every minute I spend studying, I lose 60 seconds to help the poor? Stupid logic. Or better still, stupid motivational quote.

3a. Putting copied quotes as your caption on your Display Picure
- This isn't cool. It's just plain lame. Why do you have to have a caption that carries these nice quotes which are of no link at all with your pictures? It makes these quotes senseless. A picture of you smiling wryly.."He makes me spell L O V E" or "Through all these pain you have come at my darkest hour and lit up my life, showing me hope." .......-_- whud.

3b. Posting up pictures of you, telling everyone you look ugly.
- "Omg I look so fat and ugly here ." Er ya so are we supposed to say nooooo you don't you look pretty! or are we supposed to agree?

4. High cut shoes/telephone coils
- Overrated and seen so commonly that I am sick of them. Just because high cut shoes look good doesn't mean that it would look good on everyone. Have you checked a mirror before you purchased the shoes? Have you thought how would these shoes match with the clothes in your closet? Why waste so much $$?

Second comes the telephone coils. I saw this girl buying the coils in 6 colours wearing it as her bangles OMFG...I'd rather paste it on my wall lol.

(K this was supposed to be posted on 8th Jan, but I couldn't complete it till now hahahah)

True, or true?
(I'd like to say no offence but saying that is equivalent to saying "I'm about to insult you so try to take it")

toodles.
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Deadline approaching...

2011-01-10T14:14:00.001+08:00

Hey ho. Blogging from my BB, cool or cool? Thank God for technology.

I'm less than half and hour away from receiving my results. My O level results. This is quite a big 'turning point' in our lives because this will more or less determine where we will end up. Of course, there is an alternative, where you can work really hard and still succeed with whatever your result is...

I am nervous, and I'm trembling. Typing all these down is my last ditch attempt at calming me. I got to be stoical upon entering the hall, and receiving my results.

Just a year ago, I was at home, worrying how my sec 4 life would turn out. Worrying whether I can handle it. Whether I can carry on my sec three grades and make sure it will all be distinctions.

Just a few months ago, I was feeling very flushed, regretting that I didn't spend my June holidays enough to study, having a huge problem trying to mug for Prelims simultaneously with the mock exams we have everyday. I slept late and woke up early. But I was also slowly giving up on my science. I hated attending the lessons, I didn't want to study for it, there was no motivation for me to. I barely did anything for science for Prelims. I was studying yet not so consistently as there are days I just go home and fall asleep on the sofa immediately (leading to overwhelming guilt).

Got back my results for Prelims knowing that I've distinction for everything but A Maths and my failing double pure.

I tried to buck up, to put in more effort for Chemistry and some for Physics. I had to maintain my distinctions and pull up my science to a pass.

I spent the last few days before O levels mugging really hard, spending every moment studying, trying my best. It was however last minute work for sciences. I am also really grateful to have had been passed down from my life saviour Mrs B, who had helped me greatly in English, teaching more techniques about English than what I have ever learnt in my useless sec 1 - 3 english lessons, to my second life saviour - Mrs Azwiza, who stretched my potential even more and made me really prepared to take the two papers. Of course, the journey with my other teachers have also helped me in so many ways and thinking back about the questions I've shot at them, the lessons, the consultations, I can't help but to miss every one of them. And to be gratified.

O levels were over as fast as me waiting for it to start, and I couldn't believe I got through it. Same as how I can't believe I'm about to go through this results-taking.

A few days ago, I was shocked upon finding out that the results will be released that early. I started counting down.

5 days more. Then it quickly struck midnight. 4 days more. Then it's midnight. 3. And now, I am MINUTES away from the release of the results.

I'm keeping silent trying not to make myself expect anything.

I do expect a great deal for my English results, and I have teachers expectations to live up to, and I am trying hard not to expect anymore for the other subjects.

Everything is about to end, my whole secondary school life's chapter, and a new one will unfold, plus a new path showing up, my 'new' future, supposedly being more clear as compared to before.

I don't know I'm really worried. How will my results turn out?

I know, we will get what we're supposed to deserve, we'll reap what we sow. We shouldn't regret.

My father's last words to me "Don't worry, your future is in Daddy's hands"

FML.
Where will I go?
What will happen?

I end this off, to pay attention to Ms Ng right now, to learn about what we should do after this.
Wish me luck, readers.

toodles.
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My precioussssssss.

2011-01-06T23:24:00.003+08:00

Have got a good load of books to finish reading :)

Wanted to reread Perks of being a Wallflower and to try reading Catcher in the Rye again, but I couldn't find them! After this batch of books, I'm gonna go borrow all the list of books Charlie has mentioned and try to read them all.

Funny, Emma said she wasn't going to do anymore films after Harry Potter unless she feels as intense about it as when she had first did HP.....and now she's gonna be starring in the film adaptation of Perks of being a Wallflower. What's her reason for that?

++

I don't ask Momo to buy much for me back from Taiwan every time she goes back, but she always still comes back with things for me....panda things especially, hehe.

You make me smile & happy!!

She got this...purplish muachee-like snack. Ugh I hate anything with a paste in the centre, but I tried it out. Still tastes disgusting.

uhm, no that's not from Taiwan hahahaha.

Momo finally bothered to go and find her polaroid camera, one she bought from Japan and egad it's huge.

Too huge that I dare not use it! hahaha. I'll go try and find it's film, then I can have some good snapshots! ^^

Sadly, it's just a little too big. Still gonna hunt for a perfect polaroid cam to buy!

Tried to take a pic of myself.....

fail fail pass whoot.

Was talking with Weixian about this coming Monday and it has got me worrying and being nervous again :(

Quote this paragraph from Bessy,

One of the days include the realization that a plethora of grades will rain down upon me soon and dictate my future for, like, forever. I'm eager to know how well I've performed in relativity to the rest of the O-level cohort, but I'm simultaneously crapping in my pants with overwhelming fright over the possibility of attaining straight B's.

:( ugh she has written exactly how I feel.

K well to keep my mind off things, I'm off to playyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sims!

OH, do me one favour, just wondering:

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Fourth and fifth day of 2011.

2011-01-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hello!
Here's my fourth and fifth day:)

Had to go back for band training (on fourth) as I'm helping out to perform on CCA day...on the first day of school some more! Ah well, it's also an excuse for me. I really missed the school.

Our familiar assembly area.

I'm gonna miss the mornings, strolling in slowly, stepping across people, smiling along the way before reaching my seat. It used to be with random people, sometimes with Priscilla, sometimes with Hui Juan, sometimes with Qing Ling, then it was fixed in between Billy and Edna:)

You'd note that there are CCA banners hanging around, and here's band's!

Right smack in the middle on top of the podium LOL. Lucky band!

Joevenn and polar bear came over to find me after that, and we went to have our dinner together and went to get polarbear's headphones! hehehhe.

After a while of testing and deciding, he came out as a happy bear!

^^ pretty envious of them! I mean, I won't look that good wearing headphones, and if I get them it'd just give me orgasm at home and that'd be a waste of a good sum of money huh?

If i were rich...i'd not mind though, of course hehe.

The next day, 5 jan was grandpa's birthday:) more affectionately known as my Yeye.

Small and warm reunion dinner:)
(Momo's finally back, and she can join us! ^^)

My family:)

And the sweet couple hehe:)

I've always envied the others in my family. I must be the only one in the family who can't speak cantonese.

My grandfather borned in 1921, and grandmother in 1925, they are a pair of very traditional and conservative people. I tried questioning Yeye before, in Chinese, asking about Hitler and Stalin LOL, but he was only familiar about them through the news, and he didn't suffer too much during world war two.

They must be one of the last few batches of people before the birth control policy was implemented. I really wonder how will our generation go on. Right now, most couples only conceive one or two children, and that would mean they would have very little relatives! My grandma gave birth to five children.

Still.. though we can blame those officers in the government for making such a vital mistake in detecting overpopulation far too early, causing the aging population now, but this will still happen one day because our society is moving forward fast, and the cost of living is very high. People will eventually stop giving birth too much in order to 'save costs'. The question now should be...how do we try to stop this? Is attracting foreigners our only hope?

Yeye is also one of those man of the family with the mindset that giving births to as much male babies as possible is important. He wants the Zhou family to carry on, and thank God, the job is up to Teng Yuen now to carry the name down hahah.

The sad thing now is..Mama's age is getting to her and she's coming down with all sorts of problem. It really pains me to see her body system deteriorating. Apparently her sense of direction is lost now, sigh. Celebrating their birthdays or new year, or going out on trips with them is becoming very important to me now because I want to make sure I'm able to spend every moment with them, even though communication is a large barrier between us.

Of course, I'm not the most loyal grand daughter, visiting them every now and then. I do not really have the luxury of doing so too..but I'll try harder this year.

Stay with us. Hope to bring you two folks out real soon..with Mama able to follow us!
Wing jyuun bo zhung.

Brought Momo to meet Caley! ^-^ It has been at least three years since she has properly made contact with him. Caley was happy! heheh.

Us with our favourite lil pup:)

Caley Waley Zhou hahahha.

He isn't so young himself too..sigh, half of his life is already gone. Only hoping he can live up till the very best that he can. Love him so, so much.

Trying not to think of anyone leaving me. Nobody will.

WELL. Hope 2011 will be another great year for all of us, and it'll be another year for us to live:)

Have you visited your grandparents or cherished your moments with your little bestfriend (your pets)?
toodles!

FML.

2011-01-06T03:56:00.002+08:00

Avada Kedavra my life.

Everytime I find out something awesome that I should've discovered ages ago, I end up feeling very depressed and feeling very panicky, as though the world is ending tomorrow.

Honestly.

It's the same with Harry Potter and Twilight back then.

I can't remember who were all the artists who has made me feel that way, but I know the list for the recent ones. Kid Cudi and The Last Shadow Puppets are one of those who made it to the list.

Right now, it's Cher Lloyd, Jay-Z and Arctic Monkeys.

What the fuck is wrong with me. ARGH. I feel so frustrated with myself.

Gotta thank Pris and Sher for the introduction & reintroduction to TLSP and Artics! I have a pair of bffs with fantab music tastes.

Of course, not forgetting to bring you back to these two:

They are all so fuckin' awesome. They match my mood at every point.

I feel this insatiable hunger for them. They honestly, honestly, make my life so much better. Their beats, their lyrics, their tune. I feel so intense right now!

Of course, there are other artists whose songs I adore recently too, like from Drake, Stereophonics, The Pretty Reckless, Adele, Keane, Muse and Coldplay (what enters my mind now) and artists whom I've liked for a longer period like B.E.P, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, One Republic, Maroon 5, McFly, F.O.B.......list goes on....but those on top currently beats 'em all.

Here's one of the greatest lyric ever that I'm gonna live by. ONE, of the many tons of others:)

I don't care,
hand on my wheel,
drivin' drunk I'm doin' my thang.
Rollin' the midwest side and out,
livin' my life, gettin' my dream.

Love u, music. Thank you so much for being in my life. :hearts:

Just hopin my love for them isn't short lived:)

SHOUTOUT TO EMMA WATSON, LINDSAY LOHAN, CHER LLOYD, STEFANI JOANNE ANGELINA GERMANOTTA, SETH RAMON SEGURO MESCUDI, ROBERT PATTINSON, IWAN RHEON, thank you for increasing my capacity to love.

& fuck you to you internet trolls.
I'm genuine about this.

My first 3 days of 2011.

2011-01-05T01:28:00.000+08:00

(photo from http://photoblog.pixinn.net/)

HAPPY 2011!
I'm here to blog my first already-filled three days of this new year! heheh.

After a night of PARTAYING at Orchard Ion,

I went back home with Shereen for our New Year sleepover (since the other girls all couldn't make it)

............but sadly when we got home, after she bathed, she fell asleep :(

So I was left all alone from 3 to 5 LOL. I couldn't sleep, my circadian rhythm is all ruined, so thank God for my blackberry.

We got up early anyway, like at around 9+, and had a good talk before she left home.

BUT OF COURSE, my new year doesn't just end here!

To me, the first of the year is pretty significant, thanks to this old Chinese tradition, saying that whatever you do on the first day deems how the rest of the year will be like. And I, very much believe that. Can't help it.

I definitely can't stay at home, because then my feelings will just be indifferent, stoical. No happiness nor sadness. How boring is that?

So what to do?

I fly a kite.

I thought that must've been the best idea ever! I don't know why, but 'taking flight' on the first day of the year seemed to be a pretty good idea!

Of course, not all things went my way at first.

Jie was at first excited to go, then she became lazy, wanting to stay home to watch tv and use her laptop till 7 before going out to eat. She tried to 'convince' me not to go, by telling me that it is raining all over, and it will rain here too. She even kept pointing out of the window saying it was drizzling. I was pretty put out.

I decided not to give up. I pointed out to her that it wasn't drizzling. There were still people cycling and sitting out in the open chatting! I went on changing anyway and left the house, telling her I'm gonna go fly the kite with or without her. She trailed behind me "I'll join you later~" tsk.

I spent ten minutes waiting for the bus, feeling edgier by the minute, afraid it will rain. I smacked myself in the forehead next -.- I could've just cabbed there. It's a lot faster compared to taking a bus to the interchange, then changing to another bus.

ANYWAY, I quickly went to find a kite shop (there's one beside the admiralty wet market btw, cheap ones too so you can get there if you're in the area!) and bought two kites and speed walked to the field! It was drizzling when I was walking and my heart was sinking :( I was desperately begging the clouds not to release anymore water droplets hahaha.

I was frantically fixing up one kite while walking there, and the moment I reached, I quickly dumped my bag onto the ground and ran. LOL. It was successful, and I was really happy. I kept going back and forth until........

Sux man.

I spent the next 10 minutes tugging the string, trying my best to get it down, but no avail :(

Decided not to waste anymore time and went to set up the second kite, AND stayed away far from the tree.

Yaye :D

The couple finally came to accompany, and Daren helped to get the kite off the tree!!!! IS HE AMAZING OR WHAT!

Happy ^^

Set my ISO high so I can do this yay

I pleaded, asking for 45 minutes to fly the kite.

Thanks to luck, and the clouds, I managed to fly for near an hour and thirty minutes!

And to further shower me with luck, I got this:

Bird shit.

Just after leaving the field. F F F F F F Fsssss.

I didn't realize it. I remember walking under a tree, and feeling something wet on my hair. I thought it was just water, so I didn't bother. Got on the car, took a lift up, and as I was walking back I still felt the wetness on my hair and decided to clear it up a bit and UGH I FELT SOMETHING GOOEY.

FML.

Well I don't know from where exactly, but if a bird shirts on you, you're supposed to be really lucky (no not unlucky), because you managed to get the shit right on you when it could've landed on the floor, and out of the millions of people in the country, or the hundreds in the area, you got it. Of course it's all about the timing too, but with no 'luck', how do you get the shit?

FOLLOWING MY THEORY FROM EARLIER ON, it means that I will be LUCKY for the rest of the year. Whoohoo!

Had to take a shower again and change before heading out to town for dinner -_-

Outside Orchard Central & 313!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand dinner is at Marche!

Here's a lookie at all our food:

R U jealous or jealous?

Sister wants more faces in the memory card instead of food so...

Yay!

Third yay in this post I think. SEE HOW HAPPY I AM WITH 2011?!

Here's the most awesome root beer I've drunk in my life:

And we're off to the car to drive back home, with Kor & Daren staying over! ^^

Played with a dildo!

02 JANUARY 2011

Off to Johor Bahru!

Our driver,

Now. What happens when you're stuck in a jam and the driver is bored?

What happens when the most awesome girl there is bored?

Yes that's what happens.

(btw, fail attempt at doing crossed eyes)

My entertainment!

After driving around for quite a while, we've reached our destination!

(it's near KSL)

Before eating. hehhe, finally got one photo with my lost twin brother :P

Bakuteh with SALTED CABBAGE YUM!

Yum to the cabbage, not so for the bakuteh. Don't even know what's so nice about a chunk of chicken (or is it pork?) cooked with soup, and served with rice ._.

After our late lunch, we went to KSL to look see. Apparently it's a new mall but lol it sux in my opinion.

OH ONE SPOT IS GOOD.

THE DIY ICE CREAM STALL!

WHEET.

Pay for the cup, put in the ice cream yourself at the amount you want and FREE TOPPINGS!!!!!! I went crazy.

Kinda regret, should've taken lesser ice cream and MORE TOPPINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Must go back there and do it again :D

Headed over to triple 7 next, to look for the market, but sadly it's closed and only opened on weekends :( aw. Was so hyped up about eating the chicken skin and ikan bilis there!

Check out the cat family yoz.

They went for a food massage instead, before eating. Me, afraid of tickles, (though at the very last minute I wished I had signed up for it), decided to skip it.

Went for our dinner next. Full full full. Here are our food:

I didn't take every one of them, the pictures, but yeah hahaha you get the idea. We ate a lot.

Went back home and started playing Kor's PS3!!!!! WHEET.

While sis played that.

So awesome, had two rounds of playing it. 3 hours that night, and 3 hours the next afternoon! hehehe.

Our mini lunch on 03 January 2011.

Sis only agreed to go for our lunchner (lunch + dinner) after 8pm because she wanted to avoid the ERP lolllllllllllllllll.

Dinner!

Last two were our dessert, lol!

I didn't eat THAT much la, but we ordered loads of food huh! I took pictures of every food we ate, so what you see above is the exact amount hahaha.

(and btw, those shiny nails ain't mine)

To sum it all up, what did we eat?

Food under the category 'others', lol!!!!

Typical Chinese restaurant, incapable of having a wider vocabulary.

HAHA JK.

Sent Kor back home first, dropped by to give daddy his supper and see Caley waley!

^-^!

Went back home next, and soon it marked the end of my first three days of 2011.

Pretty awesome huh? I've spent them with the people I love, and who're the closest to me. Literally.

Hope yours has been good! Life has been spiraling upwards for me now (and hopefully not too drastically decreasing on Monday, 10th ugh).

LYM!
toodles!

I'm done with 2010.

2011-01-04T07:03:00.002+08:00

Yo.

As the title says so clearly, I am done with 2010.

The memories that should be penned and left behind has already been done. Of course, I am guilty for not completing my Singfest post (which anyway I didn't crazily enjoy and it'd be more of pictures than talking, so you can check it out in facebook straight instead) and my Birthday post, which I have reasons for not doing so, and possibly a few other small pictures/events, but whateverrrrr really.

I spoke about doing a recap of my whole 4 years in secondary school, which I might probably still do, later on this year (since it will be a crazily long post!), and I've still two years of Kor's chalet to do. In addition to that, there's also a Bangkok from 2010 to do. I will get it done.

I honestly plan to keep up with my posting this year so that I will have lesser owed posts and can constantly entertain you guys, instead of long hiatus periods. Hope that in my next school, I can achieve all these.

CLICK ON OLDER POSTS BELOW, because there are about five posts since the second of January, which also includes my 2010 recap (one post before this), and go even further back up till late November, because there are 17 posts done since the end of my O levels (if you've not read it) ^~^

It's 7:15AM now, four days into the new year, and here's my 'advice' to you (wonderfully inspired by what Ellis had said):

Before you talk, listen.
Before you react, think.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you die, LIVE.

I have one long post already to do, containing pictures from the past three days :P And it'll be up soon.

6 - 8 more days till the O level results...*meep* T^T..and hopefully I'll find a job that'll give me a good experience in the three weeks I have left. (sad that the magazine company isn't able to let me be a shadower for only a month, they require three)

19 more days till I am of wizarding age - Gawd time is passing far too quickly...and another 361 more days to go till another year:)

Hope life has been pretty good on you, and hope it will still be.

I've changed, and I'm sure you did too.

LOVE Y'ALL MUCH.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
tere.

2010 RECAP.

2011-01-04T05:01:00.003+08:00

And I am here, to finally sum up my whole year in 2010. The end of a decade. The start of another.

Being given the 'luck' to be born so early, I had a good start to the year with my great Birthday party at a KTV.

Since it was my last year in Yusof Ishak Secondary School, I had a lot of lasts in 2010.

I had my last annual cross country run - in which I had clinched third, and I had my last sports day - where sadly, I couldn't take part in the running events because of commitments to Debate (but I did get first for upper secondary girls in Javelin!)

I did my last debate for YISS in the Julia Gabriel's Debating Competition on whether Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.

I did my last performance for YISS's NPCC Band in the 2010 Singapore Youth Festival.

I did my last two photoshoots for the school,

And I had my last days in this wonderful school, before -unwillingly- graduating.

I did my O Levels this year (and awaiting for results on the 10 - 12 of Jan!), and I had amazingly gotten an A2 for my Chinese!

I attended one of the greatest reunion/yusheng party ever, I managed to get Adam Lambert to look into my eye,

I went for Singfest 2010 (which I am pretty surprised I haven't blogged about yet!)

I did a post to show why I love Singapore, and I also did a post to show you all my old favourite cartoon shows (which has either been taken off or are shown lesser).

For the first time, I had won tickets to a Harry Potter premiere, which in this case, was the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (many thanks to MTV!) and also, I attended my first - and Singapore's first - Youth Olympic Games, where I got to catch the Gymnastics.

I also celebrated Halloween for the first time proper (and next year will be trick or treating!) and attended my very first Prom Night, where I am more glammed up compared to normal days :P

I moved out of Admiralty and into Woodlands,

and had a virgin trip to the Universal Studios Singapore.

I went to Kulua Lumpur with Nich, Sher and Vi, and I also went to Bangkok,

AND, I also attended two great chalets:)

I finally had a new blogskin (a change after 4 years), and I ended off the last day of the year, dancing like hell, jumping like hell, screaming and laughing like hell, at class 95's countdown party in Orchard Ion with my dearest clique,

++

To sum it all up, in 2010,
I've loved,
I've been hurt,
I've made up,
I've learnt,
I've cried,
I've suffered,
I've enjoyed,
I've laughed,
I've hurt,
I've helped,
I've fucked up,
and most importantly,
I've lived.

I quote this from an Anonymous author, found by Rozz:

"Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts.

Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class.

Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka.

Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex.

Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a helmet?

When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?

Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest.

War was only a board game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up?"

I've posted this on my blog before, but I just thought it was a good time to repost it again.

It is pretty significant that, once more I repeat, this marks the end of a decade and the start of another.

So much things we have been through, so much things has happened around us. What more can happen, from now till 2011 - 2020? How will Singapore or the world be like in another decade, in 2021?

I don't know, and I don't think I can find the answers either, but I'm sure I'll live each year by then, happily, and healthily. Just as how I've lived 2010.

Fanfuckingtastically.
Thank you so much, for supporting my blog all these while. Blogging means so much to me, just as knowing that there are readers here to enjoys what I write.
More to come, more to come:)

In the meanwhile, I embrace 2011 with welcoming hands. (I have already led 3 wonderful happy days)
toodles!

Christmas.

2011-01-04T04:58:00.001+08:00

HELLO.
Here is my Christmas post! The first outing right after coming back from Bangkok hahaha (which will be a done post another day!)

It wasn't a very big outing, so it was just me with these two for dinner first,

(forgot the store name, it's near the big fountain at suntec city, and it sells pretttyyy good food at reasonable prices)

Followed by a Christmas Service with them and Philip, by Hope Church:)

Look at the worship. So many hands raised in the air, hoping to reach out to Jesus :)

The first service I've attended is Hope Church's one, and it was also a Christmas Service, back in 2008 once again on Philip's invite. I had enjoyed myself back then, and this time, it was no different. I liked the pastor a lot. It was the same for both - Jeff.

He made a lot of sense, and I much preferred him over Joevenn's pastor at HCBC (went there about two weeks ago to look see). He didn't beat around the bush to say one point, he was sincere and direct. It was smooth flowing too.

One thing I particularly like which he had said - "Christianity is not a religion. You are all wrong. Christianity is a relationship for us to build with Jesus."

I'm not coveted or anything of course, I'm still a Buddhist (though I am thinking about switching to a Free Thinker..) and I am still filled with questions and a apprehensive approach towards religions.

Digressing-
I've realized that incidentally, most of the churches now are all so new-aged. Though it is more 'convenient', in a sense that technology helps to pass on the messages faster and more easily, and the air-conditioned churches plus good sound system makes it more enticing, I do think that this all has made churches lose it's old 'homely', 'traditional' feel. It's no longer like those Sunday morning services people would go to, the ones with beautiful mosaicked windows, simple church choir.

Of course, I'm no regular, so what do I know, I'd probably be rebutted "but it's the actual service and the attendees that helps build up the atmosphere"....still, that's just my opinion as a third person.

end of digression.

us at the end of it all:

And the Christmas lights in Suntec.

Went out and walked to Marina Bay to enjoy the lighting and the view, do a mini countdown together for Christmas. (yes all these happened on Christmas EVE)

(some random group of people playing with sparklers!)

We also went to walk on the helix bridge! My firstie.

Philip's ice cream!

(poor abandoned geek specs.
good for the owner, they suck)

camwhoring at the stairs, lol!

Went to Marina Bay Sands mall! Didn't know they have an ice skating rink there :O

Outside, hehehe.

We hung around there till 12, and wished each other 'merry christmas' quietly LOL. There wasn't fireworks or anything so it's a small but warm start to christmas:)

Ate supper at mcD, and jie came to pick me up and send me home.

--

Christmas is my most favourite event of the year, other than my birthday.

It's like my '31st December', my 'new year's eve', a day where I decide to thank whoever I should thank, a day I should forgive whoever who had wronged me, a day when I should appreciate and thank life a lot more than the other days.

I've been meaning to start this earlier and have only managed to personally give the people I get to meet for the past few years, but since last year, i've started to do posting.

here's my this year's cards:)

I'm not gonna reveal how I do my list (of people who i wanna send the cards to) so don't bother asking.

whoever who got my cards, THANK YOU, for bothering to send me a message or a facebook message to thank me back. and to whoever who is planning to send a card back too! i appreciate that a lot. it pays back a lot, for all my efforts, to receive that:)

to the other ways that has been done, that are a little less direct in thanking me, thank you anyway, for bothering to, i still appreciate it:)

Now that everything in the year 2010 has been done, it's time to complete my 2010 recap, and I can move on to the new posts in 2011 (which I already have one long one!)
TOODLES!

Virgin trip to USS

2011-01-02T02:25:00.013+08:00

HELLO.
Here's my post on my virgin trip to USS with prissssssssssss! :D It's a day before Fathih's celebration there hehehe.

Finally got to go out with my lovely pris ^^

Getting our tickets for the very first time! hehehehe. newbies over there!

The pictures can honestly do the talking, so I shall just let them do their job.

So here's everything in a nutshell:
It's pretty small, and sadly it wasn't Disney themed. The main theme there was glamour and oscar, and Shrek! Wtf. What a horrible signature mascot LOL. They aren't cute or anything...

The hat shop is fun because you can take pictures there, the gift shop with all the movie related things are also pretty cool. Don't bother, at the plushie or souvenir shops because they are all too pricey, and not nice.

It does give you a sense of a place that is not Singapore, but it's a pity, if only it was a lot bigger! Probably it will be in the day, but I will only know for sure when I've had my first virgin DAY trip to USS, which will be soon!

We sat down at a car-seat, and Pris waited patiently for me as I called up many people to ask for help on Twilight. SOOONN enough, it was 9.30, and time for my first time watching the fireworks! Poor photography and I forgot to off my flash, so a lot of lagging, and I end up missing a lot of the good parts!

Blah LOL.

Vulgar was spilling out of me like no tomorrow because I was cursing my camera hahahahhaa.

Pris and me took one big walk around the wholeeeeee USS place, up towards the hotel, before we finally head home, hahahaha.

We r pretty amazing.

Back at Vivo,

Bright, outstanding Christmas tree over there.

It was an awesome day, and though it has been agesss since we've last went out, there wasn't even a gap in our friendship! ^^ you know what's a real friend when you feel that.

I'm done hereeeee for now,
toodles!